Monday, December 30

Product review: L'Oreal Men Expert White Activ Whitening Moisturing Fluid

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I was sceptical. It isn't everyday that you find a product that seems to speak out to you. But the 'L'Oreal Men Expert White Activ Whitening Moisturing Fluid' caught my eye when I was harmlessly walking down the street.

Before I used this, I woke up every day of my semi-interesting life with a particular kind of tightness in my skin. This tightness sometimes got so bad that my eyeballs protruded and attractive women and most animals in general looked at me in a kind of disgust. The natural resistance in my skin had waned. The mealnin had stopped being produced. Sometimes I looked up at the moon and felt jealous. It had less dark spots than my pitiful face. Most days my skin was drier than wickets in Mumbai where even Harbhajan Singh took wickets. Because of all these reasons, I had difficulties getting good hits at my profile on, bharatmatrimony and even Google Plus. But those dark days are now behind me.

That fateful night, I applied this cream. On my face.

The next morning, I was in a hurry, so I just left the house without tending to my tight face. As I got out of my house, my 22 year-old neighbour Neha who is an airhostess and professional pole dancer said hello to me. She kissed me on the cheek before I got into the lift. This was strange, because she had never noticed me before. At work, three of my hottest female colleagues were pulled by HR for sexual harassment because of the constant ogling and flirting with me. Even my boss noticed my good work, and smacked by buttocks before announcing the news of my promotion and my new corner office. It was an unbelievable day.

In the evening, the rowdy children playing downstairs hit their plastic cricket ball towards my face. Since I was busy trying to avoid the Bollywood actresses who had gathered under our colony to see me, I didn't notice the ball speeding towards a spot under my left eye, where my dark oiliness usually coagulated. But then something strange happened.

The daily aggression of the cricket ball was propelled by the soothing active ingredient from 'L'Oreal Men Expert White Activ Whitening Moisturing Fluid'. The ball was returned right into play where the batsman responsible for the shot was poetically run out!

When I went home, I saw myself in the mirror and I almost called the police to report the handsome man in the mirror. But I didn't. Here stood a new man (me) - incredibly handsome, whitened, with untight skin on his face, all this with a fluid texture! I shuddered to imagine what would happen in four weeks!

Now I live the good life. I have de-registered from the aforementioned marriage sites, they are just spam to me. No one still looks at my Google Plus profile, but that's probably because it's a Google Plus profile.

I quit my job to follow my passion. I'm a world-famous batsman who doesn't fear a single fast bowler in the world. I don't even need a bat. I just play with my face.

Thank you, L'Oreal Men Expert White Activ Whitening Moisturing Fluid for changing my life. Try it, it might change yours too.


  1. Samantha JamesonJanuary 01, 2014 2:06 AM

    I bought a skin whitening cream for my hubby and he is loving it so far. Maybe you should test that one out next!

  2. Funny, but thoda zyada ho gaya :)

  3. Duchess of NothingMay 07, 2014 6:38 PM

    Well written. loved it :D

  4. Such an great words..!!

  5. People in TLC do talk this.. :D