Wednesday, March 24

Shahid Afridi's captaincy acceptance speech

After the recent appointment of Shahid Afridi as captain, the evergreen boy rounded up his team mates to inspire them to World Cup Glory. DH has an exclusive transcript of his speech.

Friends, team mates and people who know me from the past two decades of my 20's,

A dream has been fulfilled. No, I am not retiring again. I am here to tell you all that I have been named your Lord, master and captain.

We are a team that thrives on unpredictability. No question is as simple as it seems. Can a banned player get a President's award? Am I a leggie or a quickie? How long is a lifetime ban? Have I had breakfast? You never really know.

But there's one tournament where we have been predictable - the T20 World Cup. In the first edition, we came second and in the second edition we came first. This is not only a testament to our consistency, but also a pretty nifty arithmetic progression. According to my calculations, we should be on the negative side of the number line very soon. But enough ou already know about my mad math skillz from my complex age formula. So let me jump straight to the motivational part.

We must come together as a team now to play our first important series after the banning of Mohammed and Younis bhais. It won't be difficult - you lot have been lucky enough to be blessed with a dynamic leader. That tells me that the Pakistani team, especially me, has a lot of talent. I want every one of you to feel that pride.

Our past has not been perfect. But I'm not thinking of our flaws. I'm not thinking of the time when Misbah acted like a moron to scoop that catch up in the first T20 World Cup final or when people violated my privacy and saw me scrape the pitch against England. The time has come for us to forget those blemishes and step up. Let us practise hard starting today, so that we can fulfil my dream of becoming the youngest captain to win a T20 tournament, or at the very least get ahead in the race for becoming the Karachi City Cricket Association captain.

Are you all with me?


  1. I don't even like or follow cricket and I loved this post.
    Very funny :D

  2. Only in Pak cricket a player on probation can become captain!

  3. Yeah, Pakistan never ceases to surprise!