On the Super Sunday of 21st of March 2010, another IPL match was meandering to a boring result. Suddenly the IPL Chief, in a Citi moment of success, reached for his Maxx Mobile and called the owners of the Chennai Super Kings and Kings XI Punjab. Here's what transpired.
Phone call 1
Lalit Kumar Modi: Hello, is this the India Cements guy?
India Cements Guy: Yes.
LKM: Dude, what is going on? Those Priety boys have crawled to a piddly total and you guys are in a crawl race to get there? Can you BE any more boring? Do you think you're making a footpath?
ICG: Lalit, it's a planned strategy for us to win...
LKM: I don't give a rats ass about your victory. Listen, this is not the cement industry, this is entertainment. Making solid structures is not the idea. Tell your batsmen to push it to the end and go to Super Over or something.
ICG: But, they're playing so well...
LKM: My mortar man, if I wanted quality, I would have invited Hema Malini to be a cheerleader. But you don't see that booty shaking around here, do you?
ICG: And after that?
LKM: After that booty shakes, there's no saying what will happen...
ICG: No, I mean after the super over.
LKM:.You guys make cement right? You'll put it together.
ICG: As sure as our jerseys are yellow, you will have a great match, Lalit. Our brand is about trust and quality and... hello? Hello?
Phone Call 2
LKM: Hi Priety.
PZ: Oh hiiiiii Lallu. I'm having so much fun, see how the boys are running na...
LKM: Please pass the phone to Ness Wadia.
LKM: Ness, your team's getting creamed.
NW: I know, Priety doesn't understand the sport, she just likes men running around...
LKM: I'm not calling about that. I've told those yellow idiots to get out pretending to hit big shots.
NW: Did they have to make it that obvious? Gony's shot was ridiculous.
LKM: That's ok, as long as that guy who made that Facebook comic about me doesn't find out and blog about it, we should be ok. Listen, the idea is a super over.
NW: Ok cool. Hey, but please let us win na? We haven't won anything in a long while. Team is quite useless.
(Background: Priety screaming, "Hiiii Nesssssiiiiieeeee, they're all saying that Irfieee bowled a Super Over. i'm going 2 hug sum ppl!!!!!")
LKM: Ok, I will talk in code now.
NW: Why? Whatever.
LKM: The mongoose will be bitten by a snake and the Raina won't shower more than once.
LKM: Ok yaar, you can win this one. But only under one condition.
LKM: Yuvi must make arrogant-face. Deflects from his moobs and tummy. And gets good ratings.
NW: Consider it done.
(Image courtesy: The Hindu)