When it comes to fighting terrorism, India is a force to be reckoned with; armed with the most deadly anti-terror devices. No, I'm not talking about the fighter jets, defence expenditure increase or DRDO's latest technology; I'm talking warnings and directives.
We are the number one nation when it comes to issuing repeated warnings, with thousands issued in the last year alone. Let's face it - global warnings are our thing. We warn Pakistan after every terror strike, we warn Ajmal Kasab that we will hang him and sometimes we warn fishermen to not venture out into the sea during storms. These warnings also include terrifying details of how we are 'losing patience'. Hearing the hon'ble PM with his deadly baritone is enough to make the terrorists want to switch careers to charity. I hereby propose that we have a 'warning' ministry that issues warnings and a daily update on our patience levels with full gusto, so that nothing may go unwarned. Oh wait, we already have that.
The second weapon in the arsenal is issuing directives. For example, in Pune, there is a now terrorist-combating directive that is in place for the next 15 days. Two-wheeler riders are not allowed to wear scarves. What's more is that, for women, this restriction is only in the Koregaon Park area -- they can wear scarves elsewhere in the city. Sure, this seems innocuous. But it's brilliant if you think about it. IF the terrorist is a dude, AND decides to take a joyride on a two-wheeler, AND is in the same area where he committed the crime, he MIGHT be snapped up by our security folks! My heart is overcome with feelings of safeness. I propose a Padmashree for the person who approved this brainwave. As a citizen of India, I really could not ask for anything more.
Be afraid, terrorists. Be very afraid.
(Image courtesy: http://vikrantshukla.blogspot.com/2008_12_01_archive.html)