Saturday, February 20

India: Fight fire with ire

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When it comes to fighting terrorism, India is a force to be reckoned with; armed with the most deadly anti-terror devices. No, I'm not talking about the fighter jets, defence expenditure increase or DRDO's latest technology; I'm talking warnings and directives.

We are the number one nation when it comes to issuing repeated warnings, with thousands issued in the last year alone. Let's face it - global warnings are our thing. We warn Pakistan after every terror strike, we warn Ajmal Kasab that we will hang him and sometimes we warn fishermen to not venture out into the sea during storms. These warnings also include terrifying details of how we are 'losing patience'. Hearing the hon'ble PM with his deadly baritone is enough to make the terrorists want to switch careers to charity. I hereby propose that we have a 'warning' ministry that issues warnings and a daily update on our patience levels with full gusto, so that nothing may go unwarned. Oh wait, we already have that.

The second weapon in the arsenal is issuing directives. For example, in Pune, there is a now terrorist-combating directive that is in place for the next 15 days. Two-wheeler riders are not allowed to wear scarves.  What's more is that, for women, this restriction is only in the Koregaon Park area -- they can wear scarves elsewhere in the city. Sure, this seems innocuous. But it's brilliant if you think about it. IF the terrorist is a dude, AND decides to take a joyride on a two-wheeler, AND is in the same area where he committed the crime, he MIGHT be snapped up by our security folks! My heart is overcome with feelings of safeness. I propose a Padmashree for the person who approved this brainwave. As a citizen of India, I really could not ask for anything more.


Be afraid, terrorists. Be very afraid.

(Image courtesy: http://vikrantshukla.blogspot.com/2008_12_01_archive.html)

12 comments:

  1. and the irony to that 'do-not-cover-ur-face' thing is that Pune Mirror has been running 'wear helmet' campaign from past couple of months and Pune Traffic Police chief issued warnings and appeals to his men and awl the citizens for that...

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  2. You forgot to mention the warnings PM and HM now routinely give us about impending terror attack in almost every part of the country.

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  3. Superb. I've always loved the way they severely ramp up security in an area just AFTER an attack - like the terrorists will attack the exact same spot again. Genius.

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  4. @Abhishek: And then they pat themselves on the back when no one attacks, claiming they avoided an attack.

    @Anand: Thanks! Yeah, the biggest advantage of reactive security is preventing the perps from taking photographs of their handiwork. Super stuff.

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  5. Awesome....hahahaaha...this is like a royal kick in the nuts (Not insinuating that our leaders have any)!

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  6. Reminds me of a Santa Singh Joke. When Santa visits the police station and finds pictures of "convicts at large" on a notice board, he nonchalantly asks the inspector "Why didn't you nab them after the photo shoot?!?

    Our government is very reactionary. Agreed, but the system, or whatever's left, is stretched thin. When was the last time educated men and women of our country willingly want to serve in the Govt? Free from any coercion of any sort?

    We the people always see our Govenrment's failures and the media blows it up to make a sensational story. The stories become statistics. Statistics become history, and history is conveniently forgotten.

    Capturing terrorists, and trying them in court is a lot like taking a headache pill.

    We should be, or the ones who can affect some change, i hope, are thinking on lines to prevent the headache itself.

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  7. Good point, Sunil. All the same, the critical voice also adds some value, wouldn't you agree?

    Thanks Aaditya.

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  8. Ha! good one. Be afraid tourists - very afraid!

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  9. Ha! good one. Be afraid tourists - very afraid!

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  10. Awesome....hahahaaha...this is like a royal kick in the nuts (Not insinuating that our leaders have any)!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Reminds me of a Santa Singh Joke. When Santa visits the police station and finds pictures of "convicts at large" on a notice board, he nonchalantly asks the inspector "Why didn't you nab them after the photo shoot?!?

    Our government is very reactionary. Agreed, but the system, or whatever's left, is stretched thin. When was the last time educated men and women of our country willingly want to serve in the Govt? Free from any coercion of any sort?

    We the people always see our Govenrment's failures and the media blows it up to make a sensational story. The stories become statistics. Statistics become history, and history is conveniently forgotten.

    Capturing terrorists, and trying them in court is a lot like taking a headache pill.

    We should be, or the ones who can affect some change, i hope, are thinking on lines to prevent the headache itself.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Superb. I've always loved the way they severely ramp up security in an area just AFTER an attack - like the terrorists will attack the exact same spot again. Genius.

    ReplyDelete