Tuesday, January 5

Chetan Bhagat visits Harvard, demands credit for grading system

Reactions: 
In an unsurprising turn of events, Chetan Bhagat's recent visit to Harvard has caused quite a stir. In a press conference called by him for no apparent reason, he said, "Clearly the grading system out there with the points and the someones and the fives is inspired by my book. The least they could have done is give me credit for it. I do not want money, at least they can have a case study about me."

When a journalist mentioned that the system had been in place for many decades before the book, Chetan retorted, "That is chronology, which is only one of the aspects. I'm not saying I'm 100% correct. But at least I'm 70% correct. So where is the credit for that?"

To confirm this, he read out a letter from a fan.

'Dear sir,

You are the biggest author in the world for me. I especially like your books of Harry Potter...'
"Wr-Wrong one", he stammered as he quickly searched his pockets amidst assorted LOL's, LMAO's and ROTFL's. "Ah, found it."

'Dear sir, why only IIT - Harvard is also having story like yours sir'
He finished the line with a contented smirk that revealed his ignorance about other books having similar stories and more importantly, his secret fascination with being called 'Sir'.

He seemed unstoppable when he said, "That's not all. All evil profs named Cherian must pay me royalty for making them popular. I have contributed to 70% of their identity."

Asked from where he cooked up such ridiculous ideas, he responded, "The FPS buzz just does not die down. There are millions of readers out there. One of them was studying in Harvard and..."

He could not complete the statement because of journos guffawing at the unintentional joke. Soon, a steady stream of people began leaving the press conference when they realised that the promised veg puffs and cola were not to be seen anywhere.

"Anyway, I have forwarded this mail to the folks in Harvard. This is all I have to say on this matter. We have moved on", he declared to a fast dwindling crowd.

The last standing journalist from Aaj Tak was heard asking, "Sir would you like to appear on a programme called 'Lekhak ya pheku'?"

Chetan re-iterated, "I have moved on", and after seeing that no one was in the room, he added, "Let's do it." displaying again his skill at negotiating contracts.

Elsewhere, Vidhu Vinod Chopra was seen adapting the Taj Mahal to create an original 8th wonder of the world.

6 comments:

  1. He is also demanding credit from all the bloggers writing about him... He says cash or kind will also do.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm already talking about him two posts in a row - I'm covered there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Lekhak Ya Fekak" would be more suited! Hey your article used words like "visit", "credit", "turn" you should give me 63.2458% credit for I used those words in my personal diary before you did!

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's right, S. And please don't sue me. I promise, I will give you a rolling credit.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Lekhak Ya Fekak" would be more suited! Hey your article used words like "visit", "credit", "turn" you should give me 63.2458% credit for I used those words in my personal diary before you did!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm already talking about him two posts in a row - I'm covered there.

    ReplyDelete