Winning is not important. Neither is getting nominated. What matters is the joy on people’s faces when they read your blog. What matters not is whether you have 400 or 40000 RSS feed subscribers. What matters is that even 4 of them look forward to you putting up something every single day. It’s true that Daily Humor has not been nominated, but I am not bitter. Because I know that deep inside I’m better than these so called ‘winners’. I’m not a loser, I merely choose to not win.
Excuse me now while I go get sloshed.
But seriously, do vote for the other bloggers. They'll feel nice that at least someone cares despite their not being as good as me.
Thursday, November 26
Monday, November 23
Right and wrong
What is more blatant than showing bias towards someone from your region? It's suggesting that someone is NOT biased and citing that lack of bias as a bad attribute.
This is what happens when we get used to wrong things. Not doing a wrong thing starts seeming like a wrong doing in itself. And gets criticised rightfully. Geez, next we'll have parents admonishing their kids that they DIDN'T cheat in their exams.
Or is that already happening?
This is what happens when we get used to wrong things. Not doing a wrong thing starts seeming like a wrong doing in itself. And gets criticised rightfully. Geez, next we'll have parents admonishing their kids that they DIDN'T cheat in their exams.
Or is that already happening?
Sunday, November 22
How to make a movie like 'Twilight Saga: New Moon'
- Have the protagonist repeat lines like, "I will never ever leave you" and "You are my reason for breathing" at least 10 times. Heck, have some other guys repeat it too.
- Ensure the lead actors talk like they're out of breath. Ensure that they look in the mid-distance and not at the faces of people when doing so. Thus something like, "I care for you" becomes a much more dramatic and intense "I... care... for... you..."
- Have men take off their shirts and sport six packs where possible.
- Prepare shots such that when the leading man and lady kiss, they do it in a way that resembles people without arms desperately trying to satisfy a nose itch on a rough surface.
- Whenever the supposedly-hot male lead appears, ensure he stands in an SRK like pose, so that you only see him in a semi-side profile.
- Have an awesome story line that has (gasp!) touching moments like the leading lady showing her willingness to die for the main man and vice versa.
- Throw in some vampires and werewolves. Garnish with special effects and more corny one-liners.
- The movie is served and ready to be consumed for your puking pleasure.
My rating: 2/10
(Image courtesy: www.soundonsight.org)
Friday, November 20
Tuesday, November 17
Belle de Jour and the Indian IT industry
Belle de Jour's identity has finally been revealed. In a shameless display of ignorance, I must say that I had never even heard of the blog before the news broke out. The story has got all the makings of a Hollywood potboiler - sex and secret identity centered around one ostensibly attractive and intelligent woman.
But in all the talk about the doctor-prostitute, what gets my goat is the fact that she feels that prostitution was more enjoyable than being a computer programmer. Now, I'm not saying that prostitutes are lesser in any way, but many techies have told me that being a programmer IS prostitution of some kind. They also stay up all night for money and get screwed in that time. They are also supposed to be intelligent and highly paid.
Many of them even blog.
But in all the talk about the doctor-prostitute, what gets my goat is the fact that she feels that prostitution was more enjoyable than being a computer programmer. Now, I'm not saying that prostitutes are lesser in any way, but many techies have told me that being a programmer IS prostitution of some kind. They also stay up all night for money and get screwed in that time. They are also supposed to be intelligent and highly paid.
Many of them even blog.
Monday, November 16
These are some of my dumbest things...
I want to write about the dumbest things I've ever done. But I don't particularly feel like writing anything with long sentences. And I feel like shooting something. The solution? Bullets.
- Trying to go vegetarian
- Thinking I can understand what my wife is thinking
- Ramming my car into a pole on my first day driving
- Putting some important documents in one file and losing them all
- Giving up a possible career in music
- Watching Ajab Prem ki Ghazab Kahani
- Calling my blog 'Daily' Humor
- Giving up a possible career as a tech entrepreneur
- Calling my blog Daily 'Humor'
- Trying to have meetings in English in Chennai
- Thinking Shah Rukh Khan was an actor
- Playing the 'Street Hawk' title track in my head when I was 11 years old and consequently banging my bicycle into a car at breakneck speed
- Assuming Sam Anderson was a Hollywood stud
- Having medicines prescribed by doctors in Chennai
- Watching Inglourious Basterds (which is mainly in German and French) with Dutch subtitles
Sunday, November 8
Strange love's awesome story
As far as laws go, a couple of things need to change in India, especially the one regarding drinking in public places such as movie theaters. I know it's a big step, but then how else can one tolerate movies like Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani?
The day started off well enough, with a bike trip around Amsterdam which included a 12 km cycle route courtesy Mike's Bikes. This was followed by a leisurely stroll around the heart of the city and dinner at a Sports Bar with rowdy English fans falling all over the place. So since I wanted to end the day on a high, I really had to take some serious action. I'm not talking about something as pedantic as smoking a joint or having magic mushrooms. I'm talking APKGK.
Sometimes when things are terrible, you must be an optimist and look at the positives. So, since I'm feeling generous, I must say this:
Despite such ridiculous situations there was one brilliant joke in the movie where (Spoiler alert) Salman Khan (playing himself) gets introduced to Katrina Kaif and admonishes Ranbir for introducing her almost as though she was Sallu's own girlfriend. Very nicely done, despite Salman's accent.
However, the magic realism really became too much though when random pre-independence British authorities and Jesus Christ made their appearance to push the story line into oblivion. In terms of performances, Upen Patel gives a stellar performance in his role of irritating guy 1, Katrina Kaif still tries to act despite looking so good and did I say that Ranbir Kapoor is very cute? However, some of the supporting cast including Darshan Zariwala as RK's father acted as glue to keep the crap together.
Overall, I would say if you're in a theater filled with people who laugh at nonsenical jokes, have the permission or gumption to carry alcohol to the movie, or have just had a generally bad day, this might be a way of killing of some valuable time. For what it's worth, I would like my 3 hours back.
The day started off well enough, with a bike trip around Amsterdam which included a 12 km cycle route courtesy Mike's Bikes. This was followed by a leisurely stroll around the heart of the city and dinner at a Sports Bar with rowdy English fans falling all over the place. So since I wanted to end the day on a high, I really had to take some serious action. I'm not talking about something as pedantic as smoking a joint or having magic mushrooms. I'm talking APKGK.
Sometimes when things are terrible, you must be an optimist and look at the positives. So, since I'm feeling generous, I must say this:
- Ranbir Kapoor is so cute. and
- Beer makes a crap movie better.
Despite such ridiculous situations there was one brilliant joke in the movie where (Spoiler alert) Salman Khan (playing himself) gets introduced to Katrina Kaif and admonishes Ranbir for introducing her almost as though she was Sallu's own girlfriend. Very nicely done, despite Salman's accent.
However, the magic realism really became too much though when random pre-independence British authorities and Jesus Christ made their appearance to push the story line into oblivion. In terms of performances, Upen Patel gives a stellar performance in his role of irritating guy 1, Katrina Kaif still tries to act despite looking so good and did I say that Ranbir Kapoor is very cute? However, some of the supporting cast including Darshan Zariwala as RK's father acted as glue to keep the crap together.
Overall, I would say if you're in a theater filled with people who laugh at nonsenical jokes, have the permission or gumption to carry alcohol to the movie, or have just had a generally bad day, this might be a way of killing of some valuable time. For what it's worth, I would like my 3 hours back.
Sunday, November 1
Final destination. Err... almost.
So after some dillying and much dallying, the wife and I have arrived in the Netherlands. There was much consternation on the way here what with me misplacing my documents and losing access to my Forex card pin, all of which I had neatly placed in the file of 'most important documents'. This file I promptly left at the Chennai airport, making the 'safe file' the single most foolhardy concentration of risk in my life.
In the weeks leading upto the trip, I was convinced many times that I was not supposed to arrive here. A-la the 'final destination' series, the signs were there all over the place. An autorickshaw driver almost getting me killed by going the wrong way on a one-way flyover, the Lufthansa person at the counter asking me to lose the luggage to arrive at the right weight, the attorneys screwing up my visa application, and upon arrival a coin being swallowed by a hungry phone machine when I tried to call the driver who hadn't arrived were just some of the events that had me convinced that this was not meant to be. Heck, every time there was a little turbulence, I found myself thinking, "This is it." However, wonder of wonders I have arrived to new experiences and challenges.
First impressions. Autumn is on. (View outside my house)
This place could sure use some of the Chennai sun. Heck, even 1% should do the trick. I was admonished by some of my friends here when I turned the heating in my home up to 26 degrees. They complained that my house was an oven and visiting us made their baby sick. And here I was thinking that 26 was cool, prime weather. Need to get the Chennai out of me very quickly.
Second impressions, there was most excellent girl-girl action at the airport arrival, and there are numerous porn channels on TV and nudie books on sale at the supermarkets. Yes, yes, there may be a lot more to experience in this country, but what to do, my mind is like this only. Also, people are generally cordial and everyone seems to have a dishwasher. Whether these two facts are related, I do not know.
Thanks to friends' advice, so far I have discovered gorgeous stroopwaffels and an awesome Italian place with the most indulgeous ham, egg and cheese pizza you could ever imagine. I intend to try the cumin cheese some time which, I'm told, rocks. Also, I have been warned of the perils of walking on what are dedicated 'cycling paths'. (There are no hawkers on the pavements!) I know, how stupid, right? I mean, you just cycle anywhere you want where I come from, and we fear not death, because travelling by any mode of transport is dangerous enough.
So anyway, I have now somewhat settled down and I will be kind enough to provide my reader(s) with some more of the entertainment that they have suffered from in the past. Heck, maybe I might even be regular. Who knows? It's a brave, new world.
In the weeks leading upto the trip, I was convinced many times that I was not supposed to arrive here. A-la the 'final destination' series, the signs were there all over the place. An autorickshaw driver almost getting me killed by going the wrong way on a one-way flyover, the Lufthansa person at the counter asking me to lose the luggage to arrive at the right weight, the attorneys screwing up my visa application, and upon arrival a coin being swallowed by a hungry phone machine when I tried to call the driver who hadn't arrived were just some of the events that had me convinced that this was not meant to be. Heck, every time there was a little turbulence, I found myself thinking, "This is it." However, wonder of wonders I have arrived to new experiences and challenges.
First impressions. Autumn is on. (View outside my house)
This place could sure use some of the Chennai sun. Heck, even 1% should do the trick. I was admonished by some of my friends here when I turned the heating in my home up to 26 degrees. They complained that my house was an oven and visiting us made their baby sick. And here I was thinking that 26 was cool, prime weather. Need to get the Chennai out of me very quickly.
Second impressions, there was most excellent girl-girl action at the airport arrival, and there are numerous porn channels on TV and nudie books on sale at the supermarkets. Yes, yes, there may be a lot more to experience in this country, but what to do, my mind is like this only. Also, people are generally cordial and everyone seems to have a dishwasher. Whether these two facts are related, I do not know.
Thanks to friends' advice, so far I have discovered gorgeous stroopwaffels and an awesome Italian place with the most indulgeous ham, egg and cheese pizza you could ever imagine. I intend to try the cumin cheese some time which, I'm told, rocks. Also, I have been warned of the perils of walking on what are dedicated 'cycling paths'. (There are no hawkers on the pavements!) I know, how stupid, right? I mean, you just cycle anywhere you want where I come from, and we fear not death, because travelling by any mode of transport is dangerous enough.
So anyway, I have now somewhat settled down and I will be kind enough to provide my reader(s) with some more of the entertainment that they have suffered from in the past. Heck, maybe I might even be regular. Who knows? It's a brave, new world.
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