So darling

So darling! That's what millions of Federer fans must be calling Robin 'Mad Scientist' Soderling as he knocked out Federer's arch-nemesis and 4-time French Open winner Rafael Nadal in four sets. Just to put it in context, this is Nadal's first defeat ever on the courts of Rolland Garros! FIRST DEFEAT EVER!

Not that it's definite, but Roger Federer's dream of winning at Paris and completing a career slam may finally come true because of a man called Robin Soderling.

On another note, I had just assumed that Nadal would dominate the scene once Federer was dethroned, but it seems that no one will dominate the scene again as Federer did in his time, not even Nadal.

The French Open title will be won by someone other than Nadal this year - who'd have believed that line at the beginning of this year?

And for Fedex fans like me, we hope that he does a repeat of the 2008 US Open, the only slam he won last year. Go Roger!

Joke

Employee: Boss, I can't work till 11 PM every day and on weekends. My wife is pregnant six months and there is no one else to take care of her.

Boss: (Pensive pause) Hmm. I see. That's a problem. No, it's not. It's a challenge. 'Problem' is such a negative word. We can overcome all challenges, and this one is no different. Here's the solution. Call your parents and ask them to stay with you. Risks will be mitigated, schedules will be unaffected and defects will be minimised. You need to be proactive in your approach, take ownership. When we own our challenges... (indecipherable rant)

Hahahahahahahaha. Ok, not that funny, I know. But actually happened in a work place last week. Maybe something Sunil or someone could pick up on for their next comic?

Veronica Lodge-Andrews?

Everyone has their dirty little secrets. Here's mine - I love Archie Comics. They're a great read on the pot and on a lazy Sunday afternoon. But if teasers are to believed this freckled, 'world's oldest teenager', will never be the same again.

Rumors of Archie proposing to Veronica are making front pages of newspapers because of Archie Comic's latest news item titled '... ARCHIE PROPOSES TO VERONICA!', where it is stated:

In fact, we'll even go so far as to call it the Archie Story of the Century. With a title like "Archie Marries Veronica Part 1: The Proposal," how could we call it anything else?!

...this will be the biggest wedding Riverdale has ever seen...

Now, I don't care so much about Archie and Veronica and the others, but I will just be distraught for Betty Cooper if that happens. Hey, who knows maybe they plan to make the comic franchise into a tragedy-comic of sorts? Hang in there Betty, we're rooting for you.

This post is so against my macho image. Ok, end of dirty little secret. Over and out.

Day 37 - Finals - IPL 2

It had to happen. The team with the best cheerleader outfits, the Deccan Chargers won the tournament.

Almost like a sign of things to come, they started in fine form with four victories from as many matches and stormed to the top of the points table. However, they eventually only managed to scrape through to the semi-finals with some strife because of a few dodgy performances. A Gilly gem in the semis meant that nothing else mattered in that match. But could he repeat that performance in the finals as well? As it turned out, captain took on captain and Kumble got Gilly out in the first over and ended up getting three other heavyweights from DC out.

RCB started their campaign this year by thrashing last year's champions, the Rajasthan Royals, quite comprehensively. KP's captaincy seemed to lose its charm when the team lost to CSK, DC, KXIP and Delhi in consecutive matches. His exit was the perfect catalyst for a team that seemed to transform under someone who's language they understood - Anil Kumble. After that initial dip, the only direction it seemed that RCB were headed was up. And that they did when they beat all the other teams in the competition at least once.

One would be lying if one said that RCB weren't in control of the final match till Ross Taylor and Virat Kohli were batting. Their fall in successive balls off Symonds' bowling triggered a quick collapse and Uthappa's final efforts to salvage the game were futile.

The interesting thing was that like last year, this was also a team with so many performers - Gibbs, RP Singh of the purple cap, Rohit Sharma of the Citi under 23-award, Gilly of the destructive semi-finals knock and so many fringe players who made a name for themselves. It was awesome to see yet another underdog team rise to the top this year like the Royals did for IPL's first edition, yet again under the leadership of a retired-from-other-forms-of-cricket Aussie stalwart.

It's the end of the IPL, no more daily blogs on that subject, and I'm definitely not going to talk of the after-party. I wasn't going to stay up to watch Shilpa Shetty dance. The cricket was good enough for me.

The beginning of good times?

It's a great time to be Vijay Mallya. His fly-fly airline company has added 600 odd crores to its market cap. His daddy's road is finally going to get fixed. Those two drivers who're always first from the bottom had their best start yet and Giancarlo Fisichella came in 15th. And the Bangalore Royal Challengers almost won this year's IPL. But not quite. Well played anyway.

Last year's bad patch is a thing of the past it seems - the good times seemed to have finally started.

Best late night jokes of the week

These guys won't let me embed this. So here you go, check out this nice collection of best late night jokes of the week from HuffPo, I especially like Colbert (the last one) and his take on Twitter.

You Got It Going On

Hilarious video that poses an intriguing moral question - if you put a wig in a dude and pretend that he's a woman, are you really gay? Never heard of Flight of the Conchords before, but think I'll follow it from now. :)

Link courtesy: Giribala

Day 36 - Semi final 2 - IPL 2

They had the most expensive purchase of the IPL - Kevin Pietersen. Still they stood at the bottom of the table till he was there, and one thought that they would repeat their last year's performance. However, after a match that swung more times than Lindsay Lohan, RCB who were the second worst team from last year's IPL joined last year's worst team into the IPL finals - what a story! Anil Kumble's captaincy won them 7 out of 9 matches including the semi-final match against the Chennai Super Kings.

Hayden's rest unfortunately worked against CSK, as he got out cheaply, given how solidly he scored throughout the series. Dhoni's slow innings ensured that CSK never had the momentum to set a total that would really challenge the Challengers. It was still a big match though, and having runs on the board should have been pressure enough to cause some mistakes. However, it was not until Dravid and the tyro Pandey got out did CSK really feel that they were in with a chance. A couple of bold sixes followed and it was all over for the Super Kings. Pandey and Dravid gave the solidity and volume and Virat Kohli closed it out for his team.

I'm still in shock. Only consolation for me is that it's just the IPL. It's not India that has lost, and I like to think that I am more patriotic than regioniotic. IPL is almost over now - I need to start getting a life.

Day 35 - Semi final 1 - IPL 2

Poor, poor Delhi. All those performances, all that consistency and dominance and they ran into one hell of a demolition job. One man called Adam Gilchrist. A man that won two World Cups for Australia proved why he's such a big match player by smashing 85 from 35 balls. The total of 153 could well have been a total 253 - that's what it seemed Adam Gilchrist was chasing. No other performance in the match was worth mentioning, honestly.

The top team in the tournament lost to the last team from last year. Deccan's comeback is certainly awesome. I just hope CSK doesn't end up as no 2 again this year - like England used to be in the World Cup finals all those years ago. Go, CSK!

Oh, and you must have thought that I was crazy when I predicted a Deccan vs CSK finals - I've got the first half right so far, so you better keep reading this blog!

Day 34 - IPL 2

In a match as pointless as some of the meetings I attended at work today, DD beat the pants off the already pant-less Mumbai Indians. The only thing that wasn't firing for the capital team so far was the Viru-Gambhir beta combination, and that too has now come into its own. The 165 posted by Mumbai seemed much, much smaller. Watch out CSK in the finals. Ok I'm getting cocky, but we have been a consistent no 2.

Match 2, of course, was of much more consequence. RCB scored a semi-final-berth assuring 170 and went on to win the match. Pandey was quite the revelation with an unbeaten 114 - more than many team totals this year. Gibbs' heroics weren't enough to take DC home, and now they pay for losing this match as they face Delhi in the first semis tomorrow. It's testimony to how close this IPL has been that it took the last match of the league stage to decide the semi-finalists.

What will the next three matches hold for us? Will it be a Chennai vs Chargers final? Will Bangalore continue their dream run? Who knows? Stay tuned.

Day 33 - IPL 2

The losers left the hopefuls hopeless, while the winners finally found form and choked the contenders in to near-exit.

Rajasthan Royals went down by 4 wickets to KKR who played the role of spoiler to a tee. RR, batting first, tried to be ultra-aggressive to get their run rate up and increase their chances of qualifying. However, after achieving one-fifth of their total in the first over, they succumbed to poor shots and limped along to a total of 101. What should have been a fairly simple chase was made competitive by KKR's genius and some tight bowling by the Royals. However at 45 for 6, 'Bombay-Duck' Agarkar joined Lakshmi Ratan Shukla at the crease to take KKR to victory in their final match and to ensure that we will have a new IPL champion this year.

Another low scoring game followed, with CSK setting a modest target of less than a run-a-ball. However their bowling which had let them down in the match before came to the party and managed to restrict kick-sip to a mere 92. The beauty of it all was that they still had two wickets in hand and played their entire quota of overs, such was the vice-like grip that Murali and Co had on the opposition's batsmen. Even the King's XI's captain who tried to hang around and play a lone hand just ended up playing what his worst innings in the series so far. It was a field day for spinners, the off-spin trio for Chennai successfully choking the lefties in kick-sip and even Powar from the opposing team had a good day. Chennai's strong record against the prince's team continues and MSD's acumen came to the fore again on a day where defending a low total required him to think on his feet. One feels happy that he is leading the Indian side into the T20 World Cup this year - at least one member of our team is in some sort of form.

We are only three days from the finals, but still don't know who will join Delhi and Chennai in the top four. Kick-sip need to sit back and wait for other's results, whereas the Bangalore and Deccan just need to simplify things for themselves and win.

Meanwhile, after today Preity Zinta and Shilpa Shetty can hug and console each other. Visualisation under progress... mmm...

Day 32 - IPL 2

I didn't see it, but man Bangalore beat Delhi. What the funge? This changes everything - all is being reversed KKR winning and Delhi losing. Looks like the last leg is going to be the most unpredictable.

The Chennai book launch of Amit Varma's 'My Friend Sancho'

There was a warning that the news of Prabhakaran's killing may cause riots in the city, so the company that I work for let me go one hour early today. No doubt they'll keep me back one hour late somewhere in the near future.

So, given the risk of venturing out into the city on a dangerous day, half my blog's readership (my friend PJ) and I decided to do what most rational souls would have done - travel for about 10-15 km to the Landmark store where India's most powerful blogger (or something like that), Amit Varma was making an appearance to promote his book.

The book reading was good, although for those of you interested in celebrity trivia, Amit pronounces that as 'dat'. The passage that Amit started out with contained swear words and orgasmic sounds; these were greeted by silence and a muffled gasp by the Chennai audience who are not used to such potty mouths. And after the discussion with Sharanya and another reading, came the funniest part of the session - audience Q&A. Some gems from the evening below:

1. I am a journalist, and as a journalist I know what journalists go through. Since I'm a journalist who's written a couple of books called '?????' and 'The ???? of ????', my journalistic question to you is about journalistic writing. What is it?

2. Why don't you start a website?

3. WHO IS THIS YOUR FRIEND SANCHI?

The last question came from a really grumpy but cute old gentleman. The end of the session was followed by the book signing and the most anticipated part of the evening - snacks. Unfortunately, my Ayurvedic diet mandates that bread cannot be eaten, so I had to keep away from the sandwiches. :(

Oddly, Amit seemed to remember me and insisted on getting his photograph taken with me. Here's the picture we took after a nice, short conversation about writing, Mumbai, blogging, wives (all good), work and books.


Amit signed my book with, "It's nice to finally meet you." The feeling was mutual Amit. :)

Also, check out Sunil's more detailed coverage of the event here.

Day 31 - IPL 2

KKR chased 188 successfully against CSK. A visibly pissed-off Dhoni called it the 'worst bowling performance of the IPL'. I agree.

Resting Hayden didn't really seem to matter as a great batting effort by Raina and Dhoni as well as everyone else got the team to a total that seemed to be enough. Fortunately for KKR fans (if they're still watching the IPL), this was countered brilliantly by Hodge and McCullum. Unfortunately for CSK fans, Balaji, Morkel, Tyagi and Jakati decided to contribute to KKR's farewell gift by neatly packaging a shitload of runs.

CSK are still not out of the woods. They need to seriously look at themselves in the mirror and ask themselves the question that Dhoni asks in the uncensored version of a fizzy, sweet drink commercial, "Do you have the balls?"

Day 30 - IPL 2

Rohit Sharma threatened to do it again for the Deccan Chargers with a last minute surge, but this time instead of Mortaza, he was facing Irfan Pathan, who outwitted Sharma and crashed the balls into the stumps in the last over, with just a handful of runs remaining. KXIP (or kick-sip as I like to pronounce that acronym) grabbed the opportunity to come back with both hands, and closed the match out in a hurry. Earlier, Yuvraj recorded his second hat-trick of the tournament - no mean achievement that! Now kick-sip is a genuine contender for the semis.

Munaf's staccato performance with the ball in today's game set the daredevils back initially but later propelled them to 150. The top team in the competition looks stronger and stronger despite their opening combination not firing. It's scary to imagine what would happen if one of them was playing upto their potential. Rajasthan Royals were 19 for 2 after the end of 5 overs with 9 runs per over required. And when Yusuf Pathan later fell trying to flick one over the leg side, it was evident that no amount of passion was going to help them chase this target. Even Munaf Patel's little cameo at the end with five boundaries didn't help.

And heck, CSK was not yet through to the semis as I had said, but it s pretty much through now thanks to the Royals loss and a great net run rate. Sorry for the miscalculation in the previous posts!

However, the match of the day was Federer vs Nadal. A straight set victory by Roger against his nemesis on his favourite surface and that too in his home den! Way to go, Federer! We know something similar happened a couple of years ago at Hamburg, but your fans hope that you give Rafa a run for his money at the French Open! Much excitement awaits.

Shit

Warning: Graphic imagery ahead

It's time we admitted it, we know it's been too long,
For the people as they pass, they sure do feel the pong,
It's been far too unhealthy, and now it just feels wrong.

This should have happened to us a fair few days ago,
But laziness kept preventing me from ever letting you go.
And now I can't escape the fact, there's a precious urgency,
In my fumbling, disquiet desperation, the heavenly door I see.

As I struggle with my belt, a rude reminder fills the air,
My lungs exhale a cough, and my hands, they just don't seem to care.
The unzipping happens swiftly, the pants they are yanked down,
The seat is ready, and if it doesn't happen soon, I'll be the talk of the friggin' town.

As the nether regions egest the caked cylinder in a slow, yet striking way,
I feel the world around me go quiet, as all my force I bring into play.
And as solid dips into the liquid of the murky depths below,
My mind clears, as do my intestines, and dear turd, I wish you cheerio.

Inspire

Flavour, do flirt, I crave a delicious fling with you.
Neutrality, it's been long and it's not me, it's you.
Sinuous longing, I hear your high-pitched plea; fractious hoping, I see the canvas white still.
Scar the immaculate attire, gouge out the inert; escape the ashen trails for the adventure of dirt.
Asleep in a living universe, dear soul, take flight.
Be inspired, break free; the time is right.

China's sex theme park

China has built the world's first sex theme park.Wow, a park AND sex-related content! Our radicals would have a field day with this. Though I'm sure a theme park of this kind would get a better reception than a Valentine's Day theme park.

Day 29 - IPL 2

What a day - The Hand that rocked the Lotus, rules the country again. Of course, the Left didn't do well, because you know that in our culture a 'Left Hand' means shit.

All the news channels are thrilled to bits that their exit polls were correct and this is a common headline across the board, 'UPA Win - Just as we had predicted.' CNN IBN is even showing that their new website has had 7.5 million hits so far. What joy for me.

I just hope that a united government is able to work towards the progress we desperately need now - no more communal tension, effective anti-terrorism measures, economic and infrastructural reforms. We've had enough of these problems - time to move on.

Moving to the IPL, one spot was booked in the semis. Mumbai effectively walked out of the semi-finals of IPL 2 when Sachin walked off the field having scored only 11 from 15 balls. Despite reaching a reasonable total, it was Sachin's reliable captaincy that ensured they would never make it past Dhoni and Hayden. If anyone should have the nickname 'The Wall', it really should be Hayden. Not only does he play with consistency and is difficult to get out, but he also looks massive - a veritable Great Wall of Chennai. And it is on this wall with an orange cap that Chennai have jumped to the other side of the tournament.

The only interest in the DC vs KKR match was to see if DC would continue to be in the hunt for the semis. KKR has become like the Third Front of this IPL now; they can only screw up the other teams' chances (as BJP claimed the Third Front did in these elections) to be in the top four, and that's exactly what one though when Andrew Symonds was run out.

KKR managed a very good total of 160 that was primarily a result of a 17-ball 43 by David Hussey. A solid start by Gilly didn't seem like it would be enough - at the end of the 19th over they still needed 21 to win. But a sensational final over, which Rohit Sharma faced most of, yielded 26 runs, and ensured that KKR continued its losing habit.

It wasn't without controversy though as Mortaza was no-balled in the early part of the over as one of the fielders wasn't within the circle. McCullum fought tooth and nail, but didn't manage to win the argument with the umpire. Poor McCullum I feel so bad for him, he showed so much determination today - being captain of KKR is very much like being CEO of Citi. Chief of a shiny, sinking ship.

Onto some blooperdom and today we feature a Ramiz Raja classic: "It's touch and go, and it's more go than touch." He really knows how to turn a phrase, with more phrase than turn. Also, check out a nice collection of these commentary classics from Cricinfo.

And is it just me or are the Zoozoos getting irritating? They were fine when they first appeared, but it's all too predictable now.

Day 28 - IPL 2

Battle of the North Indians was won by Punjab tonight. And everyone took a chance to hug Preity Zinta. A low total by Delhi ensured that they lost their third game, and made the points table much more crowded. Chennai's suddenly not hot tonight - and not only because it rained. Why did you lose, Delhi? Do you not like Chennai? Why so cocky, capital?

And speaking of South, check out this nice short story called 'In the South' by Rushdie - based in Besant Nagar, Chennai. There are some brilliant lines as usual, I leave with you with one of my favourites passages that talks about old age:

The old move through the world of the young like shades, unseen, of no concern. But the shadows see each other and know who they are.

Good night!

Day 27 - IPL 2

It's the first time in the history of the IPL that the Royal Challengers are living up to their team name. What a show beating Chennai and staying in the hunt to get to the semis! As a dozen people crowded around a PC at the office hoping for some of the Dhoni luck to rub off on their team, I had only one thought: "We're toast if Taylor is still there at the end." And toast we were. CSK is now more dependent on Hayden than India were on Tendulkar in the mid-90's - and that's a lot of dependence. Doesn't bode well for the team, even thought they've been winning. Hope they prove me wrong.

Then followed the best match of the IPL so far, even better than the super over one, given the state of the tournament.

Speaking of Sachin Tendulkar, today we saw a master stroke by the Mumbai think tank. "Why open with Sanath and Sachin?", they thought. "Why not make them bat when three wickets are down, the required run rate is ridiculously higher and most of the middle order has melted away?" And it was with this iron-clad philosophy that Mumbai almost muffed up a gettable target. Sachin came it at no 5, Duminy at 6 and Jayasuriya at 4. The supposedly injured Shane Warne was bowling beautifully and ended up with 3 wickets. It was his passion again that seemed to be egging the Rajasthan Royals on. (Was he playing despite the injury, or was he never injured? Can someone fill me in on this?) And then came Abhishek Nayar. Aur usne kya maara na-yaar! An unbelievable blitz of 35 pushed Mumbai right to the brink of victory, but KKR flu was in the air. Nayar got stumped. Only 6 runs were required from 8 balls. But the Royals prevailed after an unbelievable last over from Munaf Patel with two run outs. And that difference of two runs means that Mumbai move a step away from the semi-finals and the Royals, a step closer. What a match - so many twists, and the Royals win yet another very tight game - they have the gumption to do this over and over. Will that be the rush they need to defend their title? The next week shall reveal all!

And guess what, SRK's having a really bad time of late - his team plays with the IQ of Mandira Bedi , his cheerleaders couldn't perform in South Africa and it turns out that that Bollywood role for which those women were selected during the games is all hogwash. They're not going to be in any movie-shovie. Go figure!

Day 26 - IPL 2

A match between two of the best teams in the competition had to be a good one.

Just two overs of the Delhi Darevdevil's innings made all the difference in their getting to an imposing total of 173. One was faced by Dilshan and one by Karthik and they yielded 24 and 23 respectively spoiling the hard work of DC in the field.

The chase was on all the way through. Gilchrist was at his best despite a stretched hamstring (or so it seemed) and DC's chase was pretty much on his shoulders alone as far the number of runs and run rate were concerned. He had scored 64 out of a team total of 86 when he inside-edged Sangwan, the only bowler he really couldn't get after. No one else got beyond even run a ball or to double figures up to that point.

The Aussie show continued as Andrew Symonds threatened to do a Gilly. But he fell to the harmless looking Bhatia for 41 alongwith Dwayne Smith, leaving his team a few shy of the target. After which, as someone on Twitter said, DC did a KKR. Delhi's clear lead means that the battle for 4th place gets closer. None of the other teams including Chennai can let their guard down even for a bit now. What fun!

And IPL's creative 'guess the over' game has been withdrawn as it's been likened to gambling by some of our ministers and you know that Mr Modi runs away from anything our ministers sneer at.

Day 25 - IPL 2

Sorry for not adding a NSFW warning yesterday - my bad!

Determination is good in sport, but not when it's used to convert victories into losses. And so it came to pass that KKR of the mi-dust touch scored a total of 174 and lost comfortably to Mallya's boys. McCullum finally came good as fielder and batsman, but is still to come good as captain. Ross Taylor stitched together 81 from 33 balls to ensure that KKR's hole-digging continued to reach a new low. SRK's incentive to return continues to ensure that the team really works manfully against winning. Looking at McCullum though, you can't help but feel bad for him - he's like a strongman put in the middle of a nuclear battlefield. Fat lot of good those muscles do him.

Bravo to Mumbai who comfortably overtook KXIP's piddly totaly of 116 which was always going to be a low one when Duminy got Yuvraj out in his first over. KXIP's fortunes seemed to have reversed since Sreesanth got fit. His mediocre bowling and his basic fielding errors are only surpassed by his buffoonery. Tendlya finally coming into his own and making a decent-sized score and Lee steaming in like he did when he made his debut.

The table looks very interesting now. The last few games should see a desperate race to the finish with Rajasthan, Mumbai, Deccan, Bangalore and Punjab all vying for the last two spots in the semis. Much anticipation.

Also, I figured out Danny Morrison's sentence construction rule: A full stop. Is acceptable. At any point. In a sentence.

Sad IPL-related news - A man in Mumbai kills his son for watching the IPL. Men like him give drinking a bad name.

Day 24 - IPL 2

Another day of awful commentary, awful fielding, and great cricket.

Deccan Chargers started out with a bit of a setback. Gilly got Bucknored early in the match, or should I say bloody Baxtered? Still the Dwayne Smith-Andrew Symonds show pushed DC to a very good total of 166. Dwayne Smith's superb hitting gave one a little taste of what the great Sir Richards would have beeen doing to bowler's morales more than a couple of decades ago. There's no better sight than a West Indian batsman in full flow, is there?

Everyone's favourite team Royals started much like their opposition. Their Smith (Graeme) got slightly Bucknored again, this time by Kumara Dharmasena who has been fairly good in the tournament. From there though, things went downhill. A collapse was triggered after Asnodkar's run out and there was really nothing left to do but meekly surrender, making a scrappy 113. For a team that is supposed to be vying to retain their title this year, they certainly do seem to be a little light on batting.

On a lighter note, some 'expert' commentary exchange from today - Ranjit Fernando for an appeal, "Was it pitching outside leg stump?" The ball had actually pitched outside the off stump. Ramiz Raja replies, "You're absolutely right Ranjit. It was plumb, ball pitched in line and was hitting the stumps."
Are they even listening to each other?

Another one from Ranjit, "Yusuf Pathan goes right down the throat of Dwayne Smith, down in the deep." :-|

And is it just me or are the cheerleaders getting err... more s(k)inful looking? Esp, the Deccan Chargers and the Rajasthan Royals ladies. Well, something good had to come of moving the tournament out of India. Va-va-voom, I say!

pic courtesy: rainbowskill.com

Day 23 - IPL 2

MI vs RCB - kind of a boring match, actually. I don't think either of these teams are IPL champion material. Mumbai played well though, scoring 157 with Duminy and Rahane completing their half centuries. And RCB finished well short despite the efforts of Boucher towards the end.

Then it was the turn of ऊपर से first vs नीचे से first. And just when you thought that KKR couldn't sink any lower, they found it in themselves to dig a little deeper to a new bottom by setting a target of 124 on a good batting pitch and that too because of a late burst from Agarkar (the shame). DD, or as one commentator called them, DareDelhi, continued their superlative performance and completed a very clinical win over the hapless KKR. Does look like a DD vs CSK finals at this stage.

Ooh and BTW Ramiz Raja thinks that Laxman Sivaramakrishnan should do only day games. Hahahaha. Because it's so cold, get it?? Hahahahah. Get it? No? Neither do I.

SRK does not know cricket

For all of those who thing that SRK doesn't know cricket, you may be right. But he does know about brand management and business. KKR is the most valued franchise in the $2 bn IPL, and most of those brands come through SRK himself.

Who is a cricket expert?

Nice piece of writing in the ToI. A quote:

[...] no other game has produced the kind of literature cricket has done. And some of the greatest of them have been produced by persons with no experience in first- or second-class cricket.

I completely agree - just because someone has or has not played the game doesn't make or unmake them an expert. Experience does have a headstart on insight but not necessarily a monopoly on it. Experience can, of course, cause you to be cocky as many of today's expert commentators are proving over and over again in the IPL.

Day 22 - IPL 2

A little voice told me today, "Rohan, don't blog about just cricket all the time. What about your army of female fans?" So here you go ladies.

Today I went out to the Chennai Port Trust and had a whale of a time. Took part in two activities - floating in the water courtesy the life jackets, and sailing. I sailed two boats - an 'Enterprise' which I found difficult to manoeuvre and a 'Laser' that was far better and I was able to control it quite decently with my weight, courtesy TNSA. Speaking of weight - it caused quite a bit of embarassment when the weak folks in my boat struggled to pull me out. A completely fun day.

And then there was the IPL.

By the time I returned from the sailing adventure, I was just in time to witness the first succesful chase of the evening. KXIP's victory over the chargers definitely creates quite a stir in the quest for the top 4. Had they lost today, they wouldn't have been nipping at the heels of the top 4, but their effort ensures that none of the top 4 can afford to take it easy.

Chennai delighted in their run chase. Haydos was at his consistent best and Badri finally came into his own. The Royals lost to CSK for the first time in the history of IPL despite a great effort at the end to reach 140.

Not much change in the top 4 now, the tenants of those positions are still holding on although they keep frequently getting interchanged. CSK and DD are the only ones with momentum though and that certainly seems like the final match of this year's IPL at this stage.

I'm off to nurse my aches and pains, it's good night for now!

Day 21 - IPL 2

Mumbai got thrashed and is now looking like it has sealed its fate of joining KKR as the second team to have no chance of getting to the semis. A total of under 120 was always going to be difficult to defend and despite a good effort in the field by MI, Sachin's not-so-golden arm put paid to any hopes they had, by letting DD get 19 in an over. If Dhoni was captain, I suppose, Sachin would have completed his hatrick.

A hiccupy, but in the end effective performance by DD and true to the current state of the tournament, the winner of the match goes to the top of the table. DD, of course, is a step ahead as it has 12 points from 8 games - more points than anyone else with less games than anyone else except Deccan. KXIP, RCB and Mumbai really need to pull their socks up now to manage a spot in the semis and none of them have momentum on their side. Tomorrow will see the top spot change again as two in form teams take on each other - the Royals take on CSK. And DC might come back to the top if it beats Punjab. The possibilities are delightfully unstable.

Day 20 - IPL 2

Wah, wah. What a day. The Royals continue their stupendous performance. After scoring 211 in their last game, they kept their drunken opposition down to less than half that. Last match's top batting performance was followed by a disciplined bowling performance - and that's what's scary about this team. For a no-stars team with no obvious strengths, they are excelling in every department of the game.

Match 2 was a humdinger with Chennai emerging marginally more King than Punjab. Sreesanth's return has rejuvenated the Punjab bowling attack. And the very same team that let the Rajasthan Royals get to 211 let the Chennai Super Kings exceed 180 in a rain-curtailed 18 over match. Sreesanth's screaky sledging stylings as Hayden left the field after scoring 89, alongwith his schlocky statements, are testimony to his class and why the second word of FIPLP's sobriquet for him suits him to a tee. In case you're wondering, the word is 'Chutiya'. Haydos and Mahi were particularly murderous today. A lion-hearted effort from Yuvi, Katich and Jayawerdene threatened to take it away in the chase, but it was a little too much even for them as Dhoni's masterstroke of bowling Raina at the end combined with Balaji's cool headed two overs stopped what had become a runaway hitting spree for KXIP. Suddenly they were scoring 4 and 5 runs an over where they were going at 12 and 13. CSK should have had the game in the bag much earlier, but their shoddy fielding pushed the match very close to the edge.

And if the rains deprive us the pleasure of the time-out, may it rain every single match.

Day 19 - IPL 2

Today Dwayne Bravo and Duminy thought they were Johnny Bravo and Dummy. In so doing, Mumbai threw away a fairly good position during the chase. And Rohit Sharma's hatrick was a super surprise. His 4 wickets ensured that Deccan didn't lose 4 in a row. Mumbai is second last now, and my feeling that they don't have enough firepower to make it to the semis is getting stronger.

I leave you with Ramiz Raja's words about Duminy, "That part of him is not complete yet." Whatever you say, Ramiz.

Day 18 - IPL 2

A high scoring day - but nothing overly unexpected.

Two complete THRASHINGS! The Royals showing the Kings where it's at - 211! This is the only team that can do something so shocking. Down Yuvi, down! Lose! Except if you're playing for India, that is.

And the ever-pink KKR. The Fake IPL player's team finally managed to squeeze past 150. Only to come up against Gambhir beta's team. Talk about a boring IPL - how about some close matches people!

There seems to be a clear strategy that teams are following these days - keep as many wickets in hand till 15 overs, I guess they're finally figuring out what to do in South Africa. Never too late.

Day 17 - IPL 2

You know Dhoni means business when his articles say that his batting has been 'pathetic' and 'it's time for him to perform'. True to form, Mahendra Singh Dhoni crafted a composed yet crushing unbeaten 58 after every batsman in the Chennai Super Kings pulled his weight to lead the team to a score in the vicinity of 180.

Another person he criticized was Albie Morkel saying that 'he wasn't pulling his weight'. And as if by captain's orders, Morkel snapped up Gilly and Laxman in the first two overs and could have gotten Dwayne Smith caught twice, but for the fielders who decided not to embarass the Chargers by getting them 4 down for so little. So Dwayne enjoyed himself by flicking, driving, pulling and hoiking like a man possessed till he finally got out on 49. Jakati snapped up 4 for the second game in a row and the dropped catches didn't cost the Super Kings at all.

The team that won today's match would reach the top of the standings and it was Chennai, who after starting from behind have overtaken the rest of the pack. Dhoni's golden (or is it yellow now) touch is back after Andrew's Flinting off. A win by 79 runs does wonders for their Net Run Rate as well, which might just come into play at the end of the league stage given how closely the teams rank.

Day 16 - IPL 2

Kolkata Knight Riders seemed to be out of it at their 15 over stage chugging along barely at 6 an over, but a final blitz from Hodge saw them surge past 150. However, it's not easy thing to win when your determination to lose is so strong. And so it passed that KKR shot themselves in the foot in the field - over and over again, until they ensured that KXIP Punjab won it off the last ball. And did I see Yuvraj say, "Fuck you" to Ganguly?

RCB vs Mumbai on the other hand was decidedly one-sided. Who thought Kallis could have batted like this? And Uthappa has finally come good this IPL. Just when my shandy-covered tongue at the Pune airport professed that he would no longer be the force he once was. Ah, what the hey - the drink was good anyway. This team has really come a long way - another underdog story perhaps?

Boring observation of the day: The IPL short and long codes that are flashed on the score ticker at the bottom of the screen and the website (iplt20.com or t20.com) keep changing.

Tomorrow sees the beginning of a new diet. I shall fight the fat, I say!

Day 15 - IPL 2

A great couple of matches. The Rajasthan Royals continue their upward trajectory by beating the pants off the Deccan Chargers. Another strong performance by Yusuf. He's become almost ridiculously reliable. No one can call them an underdog anymore!

In the second match, just as the Daredevils seemed to be running away with it, Captain Courageous stumped Warner and turned it around. After that Karthik finally managed to get out on the second attempt and the rest was a mere formality. An unknown hero came forth in Jakati today and I'm really impressed with his stock ball's dip and turn. An impressive outing for the slow left armer. What a day for my two favorite captains in the series.

The series is mighty close now and you can put your money on almost anyone. But it's the Royals and the Super Kings that have the momentum. And unlike last year there are no clear leaders. That's always good for the game.

Hate mobile blogging!

Day 14 - IPL 2

Ah what a day - one of my favourite teams winning and one of my least favourite teams losing.

Kolkata's Knight Riding ways continue. Duminy and Tendulkar doing well up front for Mumbai and they move up to 4th in the table. Predicted, happy result. Go Mumbai!

A more unexpected and happy result was RCB beating KXIP! Yuvraj makes up for his cricketing skills by being unbelievably obnoxious and he did it again when he asked Robin Uthappa to leave - he's an India team mate for God's sake! His 50 and hat-trick wasn't enough to guide his team home. What a fantastic last two overs by RCB - Kumble and Praveen Kumar, I almost expected them to go back to their losing ways after Van Der Merwe's 18th over. But Sangakarra and Jayawardene were kept in check with them going well below run a ball and that's where KXIP lost the game. Just proves that you don't need an expensive Kevin Pietersen to win matches.

The draw looks fantastic now with DD and DC leaving the other teams in the dust. Even RCB has six points. 5th in the table! Who'd have thunk? The second half is going to be really exciting.

On another note - the Vodafone international roaming ad uses words which are basically Kerala dishes - 1. Parota (Similar to Chapatis made from Maida) 2. Puttu Kadala (Rice cakes with chana) 3. Kappa meen (Fish and tapioca)

Check it out!