A wonderful evening with family and beer and two decent IPL games. Ah, today was worth taking leave for.
After the battle of the losers yesterday, we saw the top two teams go head to head today. Who decides these draws? It was a hard fought match by the Chargers, but it was always going to be the Daredevils when Gilly and Gibbs fell early. Dilshan held his nerve to guide Delhi home. I guess dropping Laxman is an unlucky omen for DC as their first loss came when they first dropped last year's captain.
The Super Kings finally got something under the belt and everyone's favourite underdog, the Royals, fell short. What fun it would have been had Yusuf Pathan carried on. It wasn't all joy for the victors though. There was a bit of a tragedy for Raina, he celebrated his century and everything when he hadn't completed it and eventually holed out on 98. It was a great innings in its own right with a number of his left knee-bending shots, and it did take the Super Kings to a total of over 160 which turned out to be comfortable. 5 points now, and they're beginning to look much stronger.
Bucknor of the day (and maybe the whole series): Gary Baxter. Who is he and which genius came up with the plan of him officiating with Amiesh Saheba??
Thursday, April 30
Day 12 - IPL 2
A day of low scoring games. But at least one of them was interesting.
Battle Royale of losers goes to RCB after a fine finish by Mark Boucher. KKR keeps shooting their foot, chopping it off and trying to flush it down the pot. Another terrible performance. And I almost missed the flight.
I was travelling halfway across the country while the obnoxious Yuvraj's team was playing Mumbai. My very excited father appended "Welcome home!' with 'What a match!!!'. A margin of 3 runs - sounds like a good match. Damn. Just wish good ol' Mumbai would have won.
Battle Royale of losers goes to RCB after a fine finish by Mark Boucher. KKR keeps shooting their foot, chopping it off and trying to flush it down the pot. Another terrible performance. And I almost missed the flight.
I was travelling halfway across the country while the obnoxious Yuvraj's team was playing Mumbai. My very excited father appended "Welcome home!' with 'What a match!!!'. A margin of 3 runs - sounds like a good match. Damn. Just wish good ol' Mumbai would have won.
Tuesday, April 28
Day 11 - IPL 2
What a team! No hype, no expensive buys, no fake bloggers, no bling - all heart. It's hard to not support the Rajasthan Royals. Last year they were the underdog before the tournament started. This year, 4 matches into the tournament they became the underdog. One hopes that today's match changes their fortunes.
How one loves this team and their story: a seasoned skipper backing his young guns from India to take them to victory. Last time they won it was a young fast bowler called Kamran Khan whose face had to be held between Warne's palms because he couldn't stop smiling. This time Yusuf Pathan with a 30-ball unbeaten 62 took someone with Vettori's experience to the cleaners and blotted the Delhi Daredevils' all-win record.
Sure DD batted badly, the boundaries were small, but when a team with low confidence is 5 down for 64 with a run rate of over 8 required you sometimes take the result for granted.
The IPL is nicely set up now. Mumbai stands at no. 3, but I wonder if it will manage to get into the semis, I hope they do, but don't know if they have the fire power to do it. C'mon Chennai, you can come back! It's great though, the only teams who seem to be sure of where they're heading are KKR and RCB.
This cricket match is what IPL is all about. I just wish they cut down on the fluff: commentators forcing themselves to say how crowded the stadium is, Lalit Modi stops his lame moves of signing autographs with a camera following him. We really don't need that. Just focus on the cricket. And the cheerleaders maybe.
How one loves this team and their story: a seasoned skipper backing his young guns from India to take them to victory. Last time they won it was a young fast bowler called Kamran Khan whose face had to be held between Warne's palms because he couldn't stop smiling. This time Yusuf Pathan with a 30-ball unbeaten 62 took someone with Vettori's experience to the cleaners and blotted the Delhi Daredevils' all-win record.
Sure DD batted badly, the boundaries were small, but when a team with low confidence is 5 down for 64 with a run rate of over 8 required you sometimes take the result for granted.
The IPL is nicely set up now. Mumbai stands at no. 3, but I wonder if it will manage to get into the semis, I hope they do, but don't know if they have the fire power to do it. C'mon Chennai, you can come back! It's great though, the only teams who seem to be sure of where they're heading are KKR and RCB.
This cricket match is what IPL is all about. I just wish they cut down on the fluff: commentators forcing themselves to say how crowded the stadium is, Lalit Modi stops his lame moves of signing autographs with a camera following him. We really don't need that. Just focus on the cricket. And the cheerleaders maybe.
'Advance EMI'
I know most of you read my blog for my awesome sense of humor, Rushdie-like writing style and the secret hope that one day I may upload my belly dancing video, but today I explore another dimension of my brilliant mind - financial gyan.
Lesson of the day: Advance EMI
If you're poor but want to live richly (like me), you would, at some point in time, be forced to take a loan to buy something - a house, a car or a cycle. Whatever the object of your affections, a generous loan-wallah may have offered you a great deal with one or multiple 'advance EMIs'. Don't take it! Why? Explanation follows.
Assume the following amounts: Loan =L; Interest =I; Interest percentage=P
P=(L+I)/100
Yes, I know it isn't that simple, but just assume for now that it is and I may just upload that video you're looking for.
So you assumed P=(L+I)/100 (How gullible are you?)
Now onwards to explore the mystery that is the 'advance EMI'.
Illustration: Loan for a Phantom fake cigarette candy packet costing Rs. 10
Villain: Your friend, Mr Loanawallah
Victim: You
So you have this friend Mr Loanawallah, who you don't know very well. He seems to be doing quite well in life. He sees that you 'forgot your wallet' again and agrees to give you 10 bucks for the candy ciggies you so desperately crave. While you're merrily sucking away he says that he wants the loan to be returned at an interest rate of 20%.
Conditions of loan
L=10, I=2, P=20%
L+I=12
EMI=Re.1
You need the Phantoms, so you agree.
Therefore, to summarize what we have is:
Loan=10
Interest=2 (total)
Interest rate (based on Loan and Interest above)= 20%
Tenure=12 months
EMI=Re. 1 for month for 12 months at the end of each month
Now Mr Loanawallah says, "My dear friend, why don't you go in for an advance EMI scheme?" You submit to his charms and give him one advance EMI... why did you do that?? I just told you not to! This is why he's doing well in life!
What you've done is reduced your loan from Rs 10 to Rs 9! That Re. 1 you just gave him, meant that you are borrowing ten bucks and giving him one buck to start with! So now the interest rate is effectively 22% as the interest of Rs 2 is on a loan amount of Rs 9! (2 / 9 = 22.2%) Yes, I did use the calculator for that one.
This is why you're poor. Don't do it! Advance EMI basically means that you're taking a smaller loan and paying for a bigger one.
Gyan ख़त्म।
Lesson of the day: Advance EMI
If you're poor but want to live richly (like me), you would, at some point in time, be forced to take a loan to buy something - a house, a car or a cycle. Whatever the object of your affections, a generous loan-wallah may have offered you a great deal with one or multiple 'advance EMIs'. Don't take it! Why? Explanation follows.
Assume the following amounts: Loan =L; Interest =I; Interest percentage=P
P=(L+I)/100
Yes, I know it isn't that simple, but just assume for now that it is and I may just upload that video you're looking for.
So you assumed P=(L+I)/100 (How gullible are you?)
Now onwards to explore the mystery that is the 'advance EMI'.
Illustration: Loan for a Phantom fake cigarette candy packet costing Rs. 10
Villain: Your friend, Mr Loanawallah
Victim: You
So you have this friend Mr Loanawallah, who you don't know very well. He seems to be doing quite well in life. He sees that you 'forgot your wallet' again and agrees to give you 10 bucks for the candy ciggies you so desperately crave. While you're merrily sucking away he says that he wants the loan to be returned at an interest rate of 20%.
Conditions of loan
L=10, I=2, P=20%
L+I=12
EMI=Re.1
You need the Phantoms, so you agree.
Therefore, to summarize what we have is:
Loan=10
Interest=2 (total)
Interest rate (based on Loan and Interest above)= 20%
Tenure=12 months
EMI=Re. 1 for month for 12 months at the end of each month
Now Mr Loanawallah says, "My dear friend, why don't you go in for an advance EMI scheme?" You submit to his charms and give him one advance EMI... why did you do that?? I just told you not to! This is why he's doing well in life!
What you've done is reduced your loan from Rs 10 to Rs 9! That Re. 1 you just gave him, meant that you are borrowing ten bucks and giving him one buck to start with! So now the interest rate is effectively 22% as the interest of Rs 2 is on a loan amount of Rs 9! (2 / 9 = 22.2%) Yes, I did use the calculator for that one.
This is why you're poor. Don't do it! Advance EMI basically means that you're taking a smaller loan and paying for a bigger one.
Gyan ख़त्म।
Monday, April 27
Day 10 - IPL 2
At least one of the days has gotten over on time. 11:30 PM.
Chennai, Chennai Super Kings - trying to give RCB and KKR an intense fight in their race for the bottom, the rain rescued them and gave them one more point. What a disappointment from my (current) home team. Meanwhile, the Chargers continue the dream run and look scarily '90s-Australian-ish. It's more interesting though because Australia didn't have the Daredevils for competition. Gibbs murdered us. The last over was seen in a car showroom, it's good that I didn't run home on time for it.
The Mumbai Indians marauded the poor KKR who in addition to their ignominous performance were called the Right Niders several times. Losing by 90-odd runs and having a fake blogger possibly part of your team must be thrilling for Shah Rukh Khan - so much publicity. A second IPL of profits, SRK? Coming back to the cricket, that's what happens when you have Sachin and Jayasuriya opening the innings. Only in the IPL. All said and done, Tendlya is still Tendlya - a gem of a man and a gem of a cricketer, whatever some (fake) bloggers might have to say.
Day dream: I wish there was an IPL of test cricket. I know it wouldn't have the mass appeal of T20, but idiots like me just drool at the prospect. How much more beautiful would today's match have been in Test Cricket.
And a beautiful piece on cricket commentary on Cricinfo - Night of the screamers.
I leave you with a quote from the article:
Chennai, Chennai Super Kings - trying to give RCB and KKR an intense fight in their race for the bottom, the rain rescued them and gave them one more point. What a disappointment from my (current) home team. Meanwhile, the Chargers continue the dream run and look scarily '90s-Australian-ish. It's more interesting though because Australia didn't have the Daredevils for competition. Gibbs murdered us. The last over was seen in a car showroom, it's good that I didn't run home on time for it.
The Mumbai Indians marauded the poor KKR who in addition to their ignominous performance were called the Right Niders several times. Losing by 90-odd runs and having a fake blogger possibly part of your team must be thrilling for Shah Rukh Khan - so much publicity. A second IPL of profits, SRK? Coming back to the cricket, that's what happens when you have Sachin and Jayasuriya opening the innings. Only in the IPL. All said and done, Tendlya is still Tendlya - a gem of a man and a gem of a cricketer, whatever some (fake) bloggers might have to say.
Day dream: I wish there was an IPL of test cricket. I know it wouldn't have the mass appeal of T20, but idiots like me just drool at the prospect. How much more beautiful would today's match have been in Test Cricket.
And a beautiful piece on cricket commentary on Cricinfo - Night of the screamers.
I leave you with a quote from the article:
When something great happens, they have nowhere to go, no upper register left to use. When 20 off 10 balls exhausts your superlatives, how do you describe a hundred off 50 balls? When a young Indian domestic player getting away a couple of beefy blows is so thrilling, what tone do you adopt for Sachin Tendulkar? As Gilbert and Sullivan put it in The Gondoliers, "When everyone is somebodee / Then no one's anybody"
Sunday, April 26
Day 9 - IPL 2
The Delhi Daredevils won comfortably against RCB as expected. Mallya's XI is now languishing at the bottom with a bad hangover. It started badly enough for them, with Kallis realising that he shouldn't be leaving balls in this form of cricket.
I really feel for Shane Warne's team though. They have a lot of heart, but a such a shame that they let the irritating Yuvraj Singh's Kings XI Punjab win. Even Munaf Patel took a diving catch. KXIP become only the third team (after Deccan Chargers and Delhi Dareveils) to win two games. They did come back very well though after being so down in the first ten overs, must give them credit for that. Sangakarra took them to safety, and Irfan (now pronounced Orphan) used some brotherly love (a dropped catch by Yusuf) to score some runs.
This IPL now is wide open. The 3rd and 4th slots look very, very fluid. Except for RCB, which is wide open in a different way. Even Dravid went home on 'paternity' leave. "Should I go support my wife during the birth of my child or stay back here to support this losing team that chucked me out of captaincy?" Must have been a tough choice.
Shastri classic: "Just looking at Graeme Smith, you get the feeling that he's due." What men, Ravi. What you're saying.
Lalit Modi timeless quote (brackets mine): "Thank you mayor for opening the city (It was closed before the IPL?). We will misssss you in Cape town. (But not in other places?)"
I really feel for Shane Warne's team though. They have a lot of heart, but a such a shame that they let the irritating Yuvraj Singh's Kings XI Punjab win. Even Munaf Patel took a diving catch. KXIP become only the third team (after Deccan Chargers and Delhi Dareveils) to win two games. They did come back very well though after being so down in the first ten overs, must give them credit for that. Sangakarra took them to safety, and Irfan (now pronounced Orphan) used some brotherly love (a dropped catch by Yusuf) to score some runs.
This IPL now is wide open. The 3rd and 4th slots look very, very fluid. Except for RCB, which is wide open in a different way. Even Dravid went home on 'paternity' leave. "Should I go support my wife during the birth of my child or stay back here to support this losing team that chucked me out of captaincy?" Must have been a tough choice.
Shastri classic: "Just looking at Graeme Smith, you get the feeling that he's due." What men, Ravi. What you're saying.
Lalit Modi timeless quote (brackets mine): "Thank you mayor for opening the city (It was closed before the IPL?). We will misssss you in Cape town. (But not in other places?)"
Saturday, April 25
Day 8 - IPL 2
Lalit Modi is not supposed to be out of India. And since he is, he decided to share his break with us by creating what is the equivalent of a commercial break in a movie - a tactical time-out. Sachin Tendulkar and the Mumbai Indians definitely won't be fans of Modi's brainwaves today. What a disaster - they were cruising after ten overs of their batting. And they had a great bowling comeback after a quick DC start!
Good job by the Deccan Chargers though (or as the ToI likes to call them - Team Hyderabad), they're scripting quite the ultimate turnaround so far, from last to no. 1 this year. 3 out of 3 matches they've won this year.
How about strategizing a reserve day Mr La-mo? Did that ever cross your ass... err... mind?
On a more serious note, this evening seemed eerily empty. Had to make do with Constantine on WB and some other old movies. The end of IPL 2 is gonna give me withdrawal symptoms worse than season 1. Last year, I wasn't tweeting or blogging so much. :(
Good job by the Deccan Chargers though (or as the ToI likes to call them - Team Hyderabad), they're scripting quite the ultimate turnaround so far, from last to no. 1 this year. 3 out of 3 matches they've won this year.
How about strategizing a reserve day Mr La-mo? Did that ever cross your ass... err... mind?
On a more serious note, this evening seemed eerily empty. Had to make do with Constantine on WB and some other old movies. The end of IPL 2 is gonna give me withdrawal symptoms worse than season 1. Last year, I wasn't tweeting or blogging so much. :(
Money buys you a warm, fuzzy feeling
Do you just love me?
Have you ever wondered, "I love this blogger so much, I wish I could pay him loads of money, but I don't know how!" Are you one of those that think, "I have this couple of million bucks that I just don't need. I wish I could give it to someone deserving."
Well, fear not! I have just the solution for you! Presenting the Paypal donation button for Daily Humor. Everything your favourite blogger deserves! C'mon and loosen those purse strings now, and make my dreams come true. Remember - it's not begging if it's online. And it will you give a warm fuzzy, feeling inside. Really.
[Link posted on sidebar for ready reference]
And that's not all, for very low rates I can do the following:
$10 - Think happy thoughts about you
$20 - Write a nice thing about you on the blog
$50 - Tell people that you really are a wonderful person on Facebook + Youtube+ Blog (poem included, belly dance costs $500 extra)
$5000 - Think really evil things about those you dislike - takes the poison out of your mind without sparing your hated one! (Wishing for their / their children's death not included)
$10000 - Personal visit, one-to-one interesting conversation, a bit of good humored-banter, plus all of the above.
$100,000 - Heck yeah! If you're coughing up a 100 grand, you probably are just generous. So I'll give you all of the above, and you will also feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. No pun intended.
Note: Donations are not limited to the above amounts. I accept anything, even decimal amounts. e.g. $10.62
Have you ever wondered, "I love this blogger so much, I wish I could pay him loads of money, but I don't know how!" Are you one of those that think, "I have this couple of million bucks that I just don't need. I wish I could give it to someone deserving."
Well, fear not! I have just the solution for you! Presenting the Paypal donation button for Daily Humor. Everything your favourite blogger deserves! C'mon and loosen those purse strings now, and make my dreams come true. Remember - it's not begging if it's online. And it will you give a warm fuzzy, feeling inside. Really.
[Link posted on sidebar for ready reference]
And that's not all, for very low rates I can do the following:
$10 - Think happy thoughts about you
$20 - Write a nice thing about you on the blog
$50 - Tell people that you really are a wonderful person on Facebook + Youtube+ Blog (poem included, belly dance costs $500 extra)
$5000 - Think really evil things about those you dislike - takes the poison out of your mind without sparing your hated one! (Wishing for their / their children's death not included)
$10000 - Personal visit, one-to-one interesting conversation, a bit of good humored-banter, plus all of the above.
$100,000 - Heck yeah! If you're coughing up a 100 grand, you probably are just generous. So I'll give you all of the above, and you will also feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. No pun intended.
Note: Donations are not limited to the above amounts. I accept anything, even decimal amounts. e.g. $10.62
Friday, April 24
Day 7 - IPL 2
Good news for Chennai Super Kings - Flintoff is injured. He was the most expensive expensive bowler in the tournament so far. Will this mean a change in fortune?
About the match, RCB put up a good fight to end up with 168. Another one of the 'test' players (not Dravid this time) played well - Kallis with a brisk 62. Seeing how Chennai suffered under lights yesterday, I predicted a victory for the Royal Challengers if they bowled their pace bowlers. Unfortunately, I assumed a similar bowling attack and discounted the lower target. Kings XI are finally on the board. KP walks out dejected - another expensive Brit delivering too little.
P.S: Prempanicker is a good follow on Twitter.
About the match, RCB put up a good fight to end up with 168. Another one of the 'test' players (not Dravid this time) played well - Kallis with a brisk 62. Seeing how Chennai suffered under lights yesterday, I predicted a victory for the Royal Challengers if they bowled their pace bowlers. Unfortunately, I assumed a similar bowling attack and discounted the lower target. Kings XI are finally on the board. KP walks out dejected - another expensive Brit delivering too little.
P.S: Prempanicker is a good follow on Twitter.
Day 6 - IPL 2
A binge last night with friends, a strike in Chennai, playing Scrabble with my beautiful wife and having Pepperoni Pizza made today lazy and enjoyable. Bring on the heart attack.
IPL, of course, was on. Chennai lost. Not gay for Dhoni no more. :( Still great performance from CSK, at least they got close and gave it a good fight. First close-ish match of the tournament. Daredevils were more than Super.
[Later]
A second, and finally a really close game. I always wanted a Royal Knight Riding, the Royals were underdogs I felt, hence the support. They came back because of their captain's passion and competitive spirit.
A Gayle storm threatened to start with, then Warne quelled the storm. After that, Ganguly almost took it away. Kamran Khan effected a run out off the last ball leading to the first tie this season. I was half expecting a bowl out, when they announced a Super Over.
For those who don't know what a Super Over is:
1. 6 balls bowled to each team starting with the team that batted second
2. A max of two wickets can be lost, after which the over is deemed finished
3. The chasing team needs to chase the target set by the team batting first
And Mr Kamran took the Super Over! Talk about giving responsibility to your young players! Shane Warne certainly was bold in his captaincy. Hopefully this gives India a lot of young talent to choose from.
After waiting for an eternity, this happened:
KKR Super Over: 1 1 Wd 4 4 4 W
RR Super Over: 6 2 6 4
Gayle was reduced to a strong wind with 14 runs in the first over. Yusuf Mendis-ed his ways, didn't go across the line this time and closed it out in four deliveries. What a match!
Good night!
IPL, of course, was on. Chennai lost. Not gay for Dhoni no more. :( Still great performance from CSK, at least they got close and gave it a good fight. First close-ish match of the tournament. Daredevils were more than Super.
[Later]
A second, and finally a really close game. I always wanted a Royal Knight Riding, the Royals were underdogs I felt, hence the support. They came back because of their captain's passion and competitive spirit.
A Gayle storm threatened to start with, then Warne quelled the storm. After that, Ganguly almost took it away. Kamran Khan effected a run out off the last ball leading to the first tie this season. I was half expecting a bowl out, when they announced a Super Over.
For those who don't know what a Super Over is:
1. 6 balls bowled to each team starting with the team that batted second
2. A max of two wickets can be lost, after which the over is deemed finished
3. The chasing team needs to chase the target set by the team batting first
And Mr Kamran took the Super Over! Talk about giving responsibility to your young players! Shane Warne certainly was bold in his captaincy. Hopefully this gives India a lot of young talent to choose from.
After waiting for an eternity, this happened:
KKR Super Over: 1 1 Wd 4 4 4 W
RR Super Over: 6 2 6 4
Gayle was reduced to a strong wind with 14 runs in the first over. Yusuf Mendis-ed his ways, didn't go across the line this time and closed it out in four deliveries. What a match!
Good night!
Thursday, April 23
Fake IPL player blog
This blog has set the nation alight, made the front page of national dailies, even Cricinfo and without any social bookmarking, advertising or anything! There's not even a link to the RSS feed! The Fake IPL player 'followers list' grows at the rate of 10-20 followers an hour. Who cares if he's real or not? The whole thing is just fun.
On another note, if he's not real, he seriously screwed up by not using Adsense. :)
On another note, if he's not real, he seriously screwed up by not using Adsense. :)
Day 5 - IPL 2
The bottom two teams of last year in the top scoring and probably most interesting match so far this year. The chargers look scarily solid. Virat Kohli finally finds form. Dravid regains the purple or pink or whatever-color cap. Missed most of the match because of a proposal we're chasing at work. Hope we win that, else this IPL match miss would have been for nothing.
Chennai is off tomorrow. No, not because the Super Kings are playing. I'm so gay for Dhoni. Anyway, political parties have decided to reduce their state's productivity due to the war in Sri Lanka. So tried to get drunk tonight. But nothing. No effect. I'm up at night writing blog posts that in all probability only I read. I suppose I could sleep if I wanted to. At the moment I feel like Megadeth's track from Risk that goes 'Ins-omni-omni-omni-omni-a'. Check it out, you might like it.
Good night. Or is it?
Chennai is off tomorrow. No, not because the Super Kings are playing. I'm so gay for Dhoni. Anyway, political parties have decided to reduce their state's productivity due to the war in Sri Lanka. So tried to get drunk tonight. But nothing. No effect. I'm up at night writing blog posts that in all probability only I read. I suppose I could sleep if I wanted to. At the moment I feel like Megadeth's track from Risk that goes 'Ins-omni-omni-omni-omni-a'. Check it out, you might like it.
Good night. Or is it?
Tuesday, April 21
Day 4 - IPL 2
Too much of rain. Too much of Arun Lal. Too much of Shah Rukh Khan. Too much of Mandira's stammering. Too much of Shah Rukh Khan hugging and kissing a stammering Mandira. Too little cricket.
The IPL may be cricketing entertainment, but it's the cricket that makes it what is. The entertainment just falls flat otherwise. Was looking forward to the Mumbai Indians match. Been a bummer so far. Rain go to freakin' Spain.
Observation of the day: Harsha Bhogle on SET Max? WTF!!
The IPL may be cricketing entertainment, but it's the cricket that makes it what is. The entertainment just falls flat otherwise. Was looking forward to the Mumbai Indians match. Been a bummer so far. Rain go to freakin' Spain.
Observation of the day: Harsha Bhogle on SET Max? WTF!!
Amazingly accurate Bollywood star
Amazingly accurate results. I am Amitabh Bachchan. And my yousuck.com account has been notified. I wait.Of course, image credit goes to The Times of India's website.
Day 3 - IPL 2
[Updated]
Yaawn! We make it look so easy. We play so much better than we dress. We are the Chennai, Chennai Super Kings! *lion-like-growl-morphing-into-lion-like face*
Ok, IPL. I've had it up to here with you. How about some interesting matches now? Something close to close? Don't worry - go ahead and fix them. We don't care. We know it's entertainment. So entertain us? What are you waiting for? Huh?
And are these guys seriously under the illusion that the 'time-out' is for cricketing reasons? Do they even read my Tweets?
Ok, IPL. Good night.
Observation of the day: SRK in a Sprite ad? WTF happened to his Pepsi contract?
Yaawn! We make it look so easy. We play so much better than we dress. We are the Chennai, Chennai Super Kings! *lion-like-growl-morphing-into-lion-like face*
Ok, IPL. I've had it up to here with you. How about some interesting matches now? Something close to close? Don't worry - go ahead and fix them. We don't care. We know it's entertainment. So entertain us? What are you waiting for? Huh?
And are these guys seriously under the illusion that the 'time-out' is for cricketing reasons? Do they even read my Tweets?
Ok, IPL. Good night.
Observation of the day: SRK in a Sprite ad? WTF happened to his Pepsi contract?
Sunday, April 19
Day 2 - IPL 2
Annnddd... yet again! Last year's higher rated teams, losing to the worst of the lot from season 1.
Delhi Daredevils look really fearsome - that opening combination seems is like some sort of unstable element! The Chargers have looked much sharper as well.
KKR - All style, no stuff. What's wrong with this team? Looks like they have no plan at all.
On another note, I like Meiyang Chang - he looks so confident and such a fresh change from the other soporific SET Max anchors.
Today's 'Tracer Bullet' count - 3. 2 for Shastri, 1 for Gavaskar. Anyone caught anymore instances?
Delhi Daredevils look really fearsome - that opening combination seems is like some sort of unstable element! The Chargers have looked much sharper as well.
KKR - All style, no stuff. What's wrong with this team? Looks like they have no plan at all.
On another note, I like Meiyang Chang - he looks so confident and such a fresh change from the other soporific SET Max anchors.
Today's 'Tracer Bullet' count - 3. 2 for Shastri, 1 for Gavaskar. Anyone caught anymore instances?
Saturday, April 18
Day 1 - IPL 2
Well, it was really a turn around, wasn't it? Last year's not-so-good teams beating the runners-up and the winners of IPL 1.
One thing's for sure, there's gonna be less runs scored this year. Less slogging and more technique. You can take the IPL out of India, but you can't take the Indian pitches along with you. I sorely missed the crowds as well. Despite the second match being fully attended, it still doesn't quite match the pressure cooker atmosphere of India.
We again saw that money matters less than brains in team selection. Chennai Super King's most expensive player in terms of dollars was their most expensive bowler in terms of runs. The relatively low-profile Praveen Kumar and Dmitri Mascarenhas had a major impact in the Royally slow match.
On a different note, the coverage by Max has been a million times better. There is, of course, quite a bit of Mandira, the host Sameer has oddly staccato eyebrows and Arun Lal is still the resident expert. Still, there is not much cutting into advertisements at the cost of live coverage. Also present are some good recaps of wickets, highlights etc. Most importantly, in-game advertising has so far been non-intrusive. Very good, Sony. Don't go messing it up in the next month now.
Speaking of next month, a lot of distracted Indian employees are predicted.
One thing's for sure, there's gonna be less runs scored this year. Less slogging and more technique. You can take the IPL out of India, but you can't take the Indian pitches along with you. I sorely missed the crowds as well. Despite the second match being fully attended, it still doesn't quite match the pressure cooker atmosphere of India.
We again saw that money matters less than brains in team selection. Chennai Super King's most expensive player in terms of dollars was their most expensive bowler in terms of runs. The relatively low-profile Praveen Kumar and Dmitri Mascarenhas had a major impact in the Royally slow match.
On a different note, the coverage by Max has been a million times better. There is, of course, quite a bit of Mandira, the host Sameer has oddly staccato eyebrows and Arun Lal is still the resident expert. Still, there is not much cutting into advertisements at the cost of live coverage. Also present are some good recaps of wickets, highlights etc. Most importantly, in-game advertising has so far been non-intrusive. Very good, Sony. Don't go messing it up in the next month now.
Speaking of next month, a lot of distracted Indian employees are predicted.
Top 10 complaints of wives during the IPL (and how to counter them)
During the coming month you IPL-crazy husbands may receive a number of complaints from your cricket-indifferent wives. The following post contains some good responses that may deliver you. Or leave with you a black eye. Godspeed.
Complaint # 1: "I can't watch anything else during prime time."
Response: "If you really think about it, what is 'prime' time? 8, 9 and 10 can hardly be called prime numbers seeing as how they are divisible by numbers other than themselves and 1! 11 is the only real prime number in the vicinity. By the correct definition, the match ends exactly when prime time begins! Give or take half an hour!"
Complaint # 2: "I don't like you looking at strange women."
Response: "They're not strange. That cheerleader is Connie, this is one is Linda, and the wildly heaving one is Jane."
Complaint # 3. "This tournament is too long."
Response: "It's not too long if you think about it! It's just a little over a month - shorter than our honeymoon!"
"Our honeymoon was only two weeks? Really? Why are you crying?"
Complaint # 4: "I can't sleep. At night you keep mumbling, 'Dada should be captain'."
Response: "Hello! Shouldn't he be? I mean... McCullum? Seriously now!"
Complaint # 5: "Isn't this affecting your work?"
Response: "I'm doing this FOR work! Last year the promotion went to the guy who helped the boss win the fantasy team competition. I'm already at #2 on the leaderboard for this year."
Complaint # 6: "There's no quality time anymore."
Response: "I agree. For real quality, it's Test cricket all the way. This new generation will be deprived the pleasures of a beautiful forward defensive stroke or a well-judged leave outside the off stump, but such it goes. Grace has yielded to strike rates and beauty has acquiesced to urgency..."
Complaint # 7: "We don't ever get out of the house."
Response: "We went to the restaurant with the large screen last week. And the sports bar with the wide screen the week before that, and that TV showroom last month..."
Complaint # 8: "You don't listen to what I'm saying."
Response: "Of course I do. You asked me to change the lawn and mow the baby, right? Just kidding. Ok, back to the TV - Mandira's saying something to that bald fellow."
Complaint # 9: "I need a vacation."
Response: "I was hoping you'd say that. Here are our passports and tickets. We're going to South Africa. Surprise!"
"Why are you crying again? Are you throwing those passports into the fire? Stop!"
Complaint # 10: "I never get to use the internet anymore."
Response: "But I have a blog - and no one really reads it till I write about the IPL!"
Note: This is a work of fiction. Pure fiction. As in, stuff like this has never happened and resemblence is surprisingly co-incidental and all that.
Complaint # 1: "I can't watch anything else during prime time."
Response: "If you really think about it, what is 'prime' time? 8, 9 and 10 can hardly be called prime numbers seeing as how they are divisible by numbers other than themselves and 1! 11 is the only real prime number in the vicinity. By the correct definition, the match ends exactly when prime time begins! Give or take half an hour!"
Complaint # 2: "I don't like you looking at strange women."
Response: "They're not strange. That cheerleader is Connie, this is one is Linda, and the wildly heaving one is Jane."
Complaint # 3. "This tournament is too long."
Response: "It's not too long if you think about it! It's just a little over a month - shorter than our honeymoon!"
"Our honeymoon was only two weeks? Really? Why are you crying?"
Complaint # 4: "I can't sleep. At night you keep mumbling, 'Dada should be captain'."
Response: "Hello! Shouldn't he be? I mean... McCullum? Seriously now!"
Complaint # 5: "Isn't this affecting your work?"
Response: "I'm doing this FOR work! Last year the promotion went to the guy who helped the boss win the fantasy team competition. I'm already at #2 on the leaderboard for this year."
Complaint # 6: "There's no quality time anymore."
Response: "I agree. For real quality, it's Test cricket all the way. This new generation will be deprived the pleasures of a beautiful forward defensive stroke or a well-judged leave outside the off stump, but such it goes. Grace has yielded to strike rates and beauty has acquiesced to urgency..."
Complaint # 7: "We don't ever get out of the house."
Response: "We went to the restaurant with the large screen last week. And the sports bar with the wide screen the week before that, and that TV showroom last month..."
Complaint # 8: "You don't listen to what I'm saying."
Response: "Of course I do. You asked me to change the lawn and mow the baby, right? Just kidding. Ok, back to the TV - Mandira's saying something to that bald fellow."
Complaint # 9: "I need a vacation."
Response: "I was hoping you'd say that. Here are our passports and tickets. We're going to South Africa. Surprise!"
"Why are you crying again? Are you throwing those passports into the fire? Stop!"
Complaint # 10: "I never get to use the internet anymore."
Response: "But I have a blog - and no one really reads it till I write about the IPL!"
Note: This is a work of fiction. Pure fiction. As in, stuff like this has never happened and resemblence is surprisingly co-incidental and all that.
God, please let me be Superman. Ok, at least give me the power to fly. X-Ray vision? Anything?
From Hindustan Times:
Shit.
A ballerina, Spiderman, a vet, a train driver and sometimes even a sea lion: these are the jobs that toddlers see themselves in when they grow up.C'mon Ms. Castine! What's wrong with four-year-olds wanting to be Spiderman when they grow up? Till the age of ten I prayed every night to be Superman. I also convinced the prayee that I would use my powers real justly - no naughty X-Ray vision stuff. And I turned out just fine. By day I'm a disgruntled employee, and by night I write a weirdish blog.
Kate Castine, an adviser to Australia's department of education, isn't happy about this and wants four-year-olds to be more serious about their career options.
Shit.
Thursday, April 9
FyF contest winning photos
This is me - ecstatic on winning the second prize of the second caption contest at Fly, you fools. I did it on purpose, you know. Who wants to come first in a second contest anyway? Hmph.
As an aside, I must start charging Saad for the free publicity. Ahh what the hell, one bar of chocolate is enough to buy my soul. Thanks Saad. :)
As an aside, I must start charging Saad for the free publicity. Ahh what the hell, one bar of chocolate is enough to buy my soul. Thanks Saad. :)
Tuesday, April 7
The twitosphere
[Updated]
Funny video about Twitter.
Courtesy: Fly, you fools!
Ok I give up, you're right Saad, the fail whale so got me. Take a look at the purported video here. Maybe, I could have just tweeted this. There's a faint irony in this somewhere. Hmmm...
Funny video about Twitter.
Courtesy: Fly, you fools!
Ok I give up, you're right Saad, the fail whale so got me. Take a look at the purported video here. Maybe, I could have just tweeted this. There's a faint irony in this somewhere. Hmmm...
Saturday, April 4
Dhoni's devils
Over most of the post '83 World-Cup victory years, India always had exceptional talent in her cricket team. Exceptional individuals, that is. Right from Azhar to Dravid, from the rock-steady Anil Kumble to the no-adjectives-required Tendulkar and the brilliant Yuvi, there have been players that made oppositions shiver.
However, it hasn't been since Kapil's Devils that we've had a team doing so well, so consistently as a unit. Signs were evident when a ridiculously young team with little known individuals came together as a unit to win the 2007 T20 World Cup. The nature, vintage and duration of that version of the sport kept many from applying the 'best team' label in a hurry.
The subsequent domination in all forms of the game - one-dayers and T20's included makes one think - is this the team that can win the elusive ODI World Cup? It's a prize that has lost much of its sheen now with a new, younger form of the sport grabbing headlines, but it's something we have looked forward to for too long. And we have a leader as charismatic as the one that led us from obscurity to that World Cup victory more than a quarter of a century ago. A leader that embodies heart, poise, class and inspiration.
Tendlya himself has claimed this to be the 'best batting line-up' he has been part of. It's quite a statement, considering his career spans more than two decades of modern Indian cricket. Dwell on what he says for a moment though. He doesn't mean that every player 'on paper' is better than every player we've ever had. God knows we've had one too many paper tiger line-ups in the past - star-studded batting rosters that failed as a team; brilliant individual performances that led to amazing averages but not so amazing winning percentages. Now things have changed. This line-up plays with a single goal - to win matches. Farming the strike, letting the team run rate slip for personal achievement is understood to be unacceptable. That fact in itself qualifies this line-up to be the best in a long while.
It didn't happen overnight though. There was a stage where we hadn't won a single test series out of the sub-continent for a long time. The shirt-lassoing Dada's devils took up that challenge - won tests starting from Zimbabwe right up to Australia, and a few series as well. They almost reached the summit of what is now the second-shortest form of cricket in 2003, and I remember feeling much like I do today when India wins its first Test Series in NZ in over 30 years. Only today, one feels that there is no Achilles' heel. No unbeatable Australia. We may have taken home the first T20 World Cup, but winning the ODI World Cup will be the culmination of a dream that two generations of cricket fans will savor. There's never been a better time.
However, it hasn't been since Kapil's Devils that we've had a team doing so well, so consistently as a unit. Signs were evident when a ridiculously young team with little known individuals came together as a unit to win the 2007 T20 World Cup. The nature, vintage and duration of that version of the sport kept many from applying the 'best team' label in a hurry.
The subsequent domination in all forms of the game - one-dayers and T20's included makes one think - is this the team that can win the elusive ODI World Cup? It's a prize that has lost much of its sheen now with a new, younger form of the sport grabbing headlines, but it's something we have looked forward to for too long. And we have a leader as charismatic as the one that led us from obscurity to that World Cup victory more than a quarter of a century ago. A leader that embodies heart, poise, class and inspiration.
Tendlya himself has claimed this to be the 'best batting line-up' he has been part of. It's quite a statement, considering his career spans more than two decades of modern Indian cricket. Dwell on what he says for a moment though. He doesn't mean that every player 'on paper' is better than every player we've ever had. God knows we've had one too many paper tiger line-ups in the past - star-studded batting rosters that failed as a team; brilliant individual performances that led to amazing averages but not so amazing winning percentages. Now things have changed. This line-up plays with a single goal - to win matches. Farming the strike, letting the team run rate slip for personal achievement is understood to be unacceptable. That fact in itself qualifies this line-up to be the best in a long while.
It didn't happen overnight though. There was a stage where we hadn't won a single test series out of the sub-continent for a long time. The shirt-lassoing Dada's devils took up that challenge - won tests starting from Zimbabwe right up to Australia, and a few series as well. They almost reached the summit of what is now the second-shortest form of cricket in 2003, and I remember feeling much like I do today when India wins its first Test Series in NZ in over 30 years. Only today, one feels that there is no Achilles' heel. No unbeatable Australia. We may have taken home the first T20 World Cup, but winning the ODI World Cup will be the culmination of a dream that two generations of cricket fans will savor. There's never been a better time.
Friday, April 3
Get ready for more Charu!
 As a consequence of moving the series abroad (or so they say), the kind folks at IPL have decided to have a five-minute break at the end of every ten overs. You know what that means - more 'brilliant', 'shining' and 'luminous' commentary from a man who was fired from a vague position of a team that did poorly at last year's IPL.Ironically, I'm hoping that they really stuff those five minutes with ads, else we could see more jam sessions with this dude and that Arun Lal fellow, whose ramblings make even the ongoing India-NZ test series seem like 'The hottie and the nottie'. Left: Charu seen in his previous television appearance at 'Yo Momma'. He didn't make it very far. Image courtesy: daijiworld.com |
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