Why Aishwarya Rai turned down the Barbie offer

Jokes apart, I do feel that Ash turned it down because it possibly augmented her 'not natural' image. Or maybe, father-in-law disapproved.

L'amour du La-Mo

This comic was inspired by Gerald Majola (Ge-Mo) and Lalit Modi (La-Mo) actually looking into each other's eyes with what seems like a very deep... er... friendship. Check this photo out.

Dada's rotations

Top 10 reasons to look forward to IPL season 2

According to me. Feel free to add!

10. Pommie presence
English players will play this year - some kick-ass players might add spice to the IPL.

9. All safe and secure
In the Lahore aftermath, whiny cry babies no longer will be able to say, "I'm so scared of death. Oooh. I won't play." All teams will be at full strength.

8. Jaago re and all that
No security dilution. We will be able to exercise our democratic right without fear. Politicians will be honest, India will change. No wait...

7. "I think therefore, you are unpatriotic"
Modi will no longer have nightmares about Chidambaram's loud thoughts. And his patriotism will no longer be under threat.

6. KP of Good times
KP will captain the Bangalore team. Hopefully, Charu Sharma will in no way be involved and the team won't end up at unlucky number 7.

5. No more Punter banter
Ponting skips IPL2 after an embarassing salary figure during season 1. Guess the whining and cheating didn't pay. Maybe grandma was right, Ricky.

4. This fart brought to you by...
Hopefully, Sony will not broadcast the IPL. And there won't be ads everytime someone pauses between a sentence.

3. The kings might rule
Chennai Super Kings have an imposing line-up this year - Flintoff and Hussey the new additions, will Dhoni lead them to victory this year? Hopefully, my current base location home team kicks butt.

2. No more salwar kameezes
Cheerleaders can be more scantily dressed as fringe groups won't be out to rescue culture in other countries.

1. It's actually happening
God knows we need some entertainment in these trying times. As Randy Jackson says - WHAT!

IPL moves out of India

I think they are patriotic Indians. I think they will take a call.

Well there you have it. Chidambaram's loud thinking has led to the smart folks at IPL promptly moving the tournament out of India. After last year's bemusement at national stars playing for regional teams with foreign players, this year we'll have Indian regional teams with foreign players playing in a foreign country according to IST. What next? IPL 3 played with baseball rules in football stadia? Foreign teams playing Indian sports in foreign conditions? Indian conditions playing foreign teams in regional sports according to GMT?

PJs notwithstanding, reactions have been mixed to the move, with biased veterans citing arbitrary reasons like the word 'Indian' in the acronym IPL for cancelling the tournament. As a fan though, I don't give a singular hoot about this or similarly inane arguments.

Only I know how last year's blazing summer passed, and the withdrawal symptoms I had when the season ended. I'll be damned if I don't feel like that again. I have to go to work every day and as long as I can come back home in time for the second innings, I'm fine. Hell, even the cheerleaders can be more scantily dressed. Yay for me all round.

Kudos to Modi and Co. for not bowing down to bickering politicians and figuring out a way to keep the fans happy. I just hope that they don't compromise on security and the hurried change of venue doesn't cause a second Lahore. Fingers crossed.

Oh, and in other IPL news - KP will lead the Royally Challenged. Guess Dr. Mallya's off the cheap whiskies and sipping the good stuff. Maybe he'll shake off that hangover from last year and finally have some good times.

Questions

What's the best time to turn to alcohol? What's the best time get addicted? Does returning from the edge of temptation guarantee salvation? Does giving in to tempation numb you from the spears that stand as flags at the summit of your pain? Do dead ends give you license to thump your chest, pull your hair out and run out naked in the streets under the protection of insane laughter?

How come at every new bottom you see a new one lurking far below you? How come one always chants one's curses but never counts one's blessings? Why are plans and obstacles conjoined twins? Why do our muscles and joints have to be the voice of our stress?

How does a rebel start conforming? How does nothing become worth living for except life? How does nothing stay worth dying for? How does routine safeguard the shell that it hollows? When does a heart substitute passion with blood? Why does the mirror stare at empty eyes filled with empty tears?

How does one stop laughing? How does one lose hope?

Pietersen attributes India's ODI success to IPL

KP says:

India are taking one-day cricket to a different level. Have you seen the way they are playing in New Zealand? Then compare that to what we did out there last year.

This is an interesting read. While there may be an element of truth to the statement, it somehow doesn't quite add up. For example, how does that explain India getting thrashed in the T20s in NZ? Sehwag has always been a force to reckon with as far as strike rate and dominance is concerned, how much would one season of IPL have changed that? Sachin didn't play the IPL and hardly plays T20s. They've been instrumental in the ODI wins.

On the lighter side, it seems to be a veiled plea to the ECB to not hinder the participation of English players in the IPL. It's like me justifying to my manager why an onsite stint would be good for business.

Random mid-innings rambling

Ok, we have just scored 393 against the Kiwis, and this may just lead to our first ODI series win there in a long time. Go Tendlya!

As I await the start of the second innings, I see Max's 'cricket expert' Charu ooze oodles of blah. I don't understand why he is considered a second grade Harsha Bhogle. He's nowhere close to that. There are so many better sports journalists / presenters out there. This guy's not even pretty (by a long shot), the match analysis is junk - hardly any statistics-based or technical discussions. I know this is Max, but why do they assume that those who watch two innings of cricket would be interested in non-cricketing stuff during the break?

Even a repeat of the highlights with sponsor names changing every two or three minutes would have better ratings... oh now Sanjay Manjrekar and Neil Nitin Mukesh are singing "Kismein kitna hai dum'. Please stop.

Ah the NZ innings is about to start. Toodle-oo.