Sunday, August 30

Press Help for F1

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After Force India finished 2nd in the Belgian Grand Prix, Dr Mallya tried to convince the very obstinate sports minister, Dr Gill about recognizing Formula 1 as a sport. Here's what happened:
Mallya: Good evening Dr Gill. Hope you're having a good times.
Gill: Tell me Dr Mallya, I don't have time. I'm a leader you know, not a cheerleader.
Mallya: Sir, I've come for a request. This is about recognizing Formula 1 as a sport.
Gill: Is this formula some new drink of yours or...
Mallya: No sir, it's racing using specially designed cars in circuits...
Gill: Ah that! But we have already decided no? Then why are you here again, Dr Mallya. Please don't try to Force India.
Mallya: But F1 is a sport! Just like tennis or cricket.
Gill: Sorry to spoil your cheers. But I disagree. It is entertainment.
Mallya: And what about our home-brewed IPL? It's the biggest entertainment event in the country!
Gill: That is cricket baba. It is all about human endeavour and spirit. Not your kind of spirit Dr Mallya, but real, human spirit.
Mallya: But isn't that also entertainment?
Gill: See, we don't mind if sports has entertainment, but entertainment cannot be sports, and that is final. Stop mixing your drinks.
Mallya: *peeved* This is the time to act, minister. My team's performance has taken F1's popularity to a new high...
Gill: You're always talking of highs. I don't know why you are so interested in wasting Fuel. Is it because it's a competing brand? *laughs* Jokes apart, these are the nation's resources, for which two brothers are already fighting. We cannot have one more king fishing in our waters.
Mallya: F1 really is a sport! Look at how much weight these drivers lose after every race! Arjuna Ranatunga had a pot belly even till the end of his career.
Gill: I cannot comment on other country's sportsmen, Dr Mallya. And besides, do you think it's wise for you to talk about beer bellies? Anyway, you know that we are not exactly 'doctors' right? It's only titular.
Mallya: *dreamily* Aahhh titular... good times...
Gill: Snap out of it, Dr Mallya!
Mallya: Sorry about that sir, but all you need to do is recognize it as a sport, you can really help F1 in the country.
Gill: F1 may mean help, Dr Mallya, but helping F1 is going to be a Royal Challenge.
Mallya: Do you mean to say there is absolutely nothing *wink* we can do about it?
Gill: Dr, your black money and White Mischief are getting you nowhere. Stop wining. Our decision is final. Now please leave. I have to go make number 1. Mera number 1.

19 comments:

  1. I would like to feature this post/blog on my website. Click on username and let me know.

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  2. Ankur,

    You are free to reuse with appropriate attribution and links. Please see the licensing details in the footer.

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  3. Grrr :-). I was planning to write the same thing - An encounter between Mallya & Gill. Now I have to change the format.

    Nice post. Enjoyed.

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  4. Heh. Not an issue, man. Go right ahead. A little link within the post will help. :)

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  5. Ok I've slightly tweaked it now - please to be reading so that you don't crack the same PJ's.

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  6. Is that lady in white the sports minister? She does look obstinate.

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  7. No, she is the wife of one of the brothers fighting for the nation's fuel.

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  8. Loved the stop 'wine'ing and "stop trying to Force India" puns!

    The heading ofcourse is a masterstroke! :)

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  9. @Sunny: Thanks.
    @Ramesh: Open letter format was awesome. Really nice. :)

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  10. Loved the title! And the post, of course.

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  11. Good stuff !! The sports minister is neither a sport nor entertaining...

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  12. Thanks Prashant.

    @Narendra, hope the knee is better. Best wishes.

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  13. Thanks Prashant.

    @Narendra, hope the knee is better. Best wishes.

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  14. Good stuff !! The sports minister is neither a sport nor entertaining...

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  15. Loved the stop 'wine'ing and "stop trying to Force India" puns!

    The heading ofcourse is a masterstroke! :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Is that lady in white the sports minister? She does look obstinate.

    ReplyDelete