I recently visited a 'big' hospital in Chennai, and this is what happened:
Me: I get slightly dizzy these days in the evening, and have a recurring cough that fails to go away.
Doc: So which 'industry' do you work in?
Me: *rolling eyes* The IT industry.
Doc: Hmm... *blood sucking mode on; intelligent look and phony contemplation* Have you hit your head somewhere?
Me: What?! No!
Doc: Do you tend to go towards one side?
Me: Only when I ride the bike.
Doc: So you have a tendency of going to one side? Which side is it?
Me: The left side. That's the side of the road we're supposed to drive on.
Doc: Hmm... ok. Any family history of insanity/ mental problems?
Me: (Wha... motha... fug...) No.
Doc: Hmm.. and what of this cough? Are you spitting blood?
Me: No - although I would be pretty sure to mention it if I was.
Doc: Hmm.. and phlegm?
Me: A little.
Doc: *more contemplation and phony intelligence display* Here, do these battery of tests. (sounding very please to use the word 'battery')
Me: What are these tests?
Doc: Well, you need to go for a brain scan becau...
Me: What what what! A brain scan? What's wrong with me?
Doc: You never know, you could have injured your brain or ...*inchorence*
Me: And what about the cough?
Doc: I suspect Tuberculosis. Very common in Chennai, don't worry.
Me: So you're saying that I have TB and brain problems?
Doc: Most likely, but there is nothing to worry at this stage.
Fortunately, I later found another doc (not affiliated with the hospital) who said I have a mild case of vertigo and gave me something for my cough.
Adding to the really long list of social objectives that this blog fulfils; here's another piece of information - when in Chennai, find a good physician preferably not inside big hospitals.
In the past year, I've had TB, brain problems, blood pressure, back spasms and many other issues for which I've been sucked dry of urine and blood. A doctor at another large hospital where my company has a free Master Health Check tie-up prescribed me 3000 bucks worth of meds for blood pressure when I just mentioned that I had a spike the previous week. And then he told me that these meds would apparently help me lose weight, causing my BP to fall.
And then there's the standard fare when you go in with anything above 98 degrees Fahrenheit. Anitbiotics, vitamin B Complex supplements and paracetomols. Yes, antibiotics are the first thing they write down.
Now not all docs in big hospitals are bad, but one needs to be aware of the pitfalls and the strategies that many of these guys use to screw patients over. I for one, am happy to have found a physician who knows what she's talking about. And happier to not have TB and brain tumors.