Warning: Graphic imagery ahead
It's time we admitted it, we know it's been too long,
For the people as they pass, they sure do feel the pong,
It's been far too unhealthy, and now it just feels wrong.
This should have happened to us a fair few days ago,
But laziness kept preventing me from ever letting you go.
And now I can't escape the fact, there's a precious urgency,
In my fumbling, disquiet desperation, the heavenly door I see.
As I struggle with my belt, a rude reminder fills the air,
My lungs exhale a cough, and my hands, they just don't seem to care.
The unzipping happens swiftly, the pants they are yanked down,
The seat is ready, and if it doesn't happen soon, I'll be the talk of the friggin' town.
As the nether regions egest the caked cylinder in a slow, yet striking way,
I feel the world around me go quiet, as all my force I bring into play.
And as solid dips into the liquid of the murky depths below,
My mind clears, as do my intestines, and dear turd, I wish you cheerio.