Friday, November 21

Breaking News: Australia lose to Bermuda

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March 12th, 2011
Ricky Ponting's Australia lose 5-0 to Bermuda in Test Series

At the post-match conference, Ponting blamed the internet, the sun and the moon for the defeat. He said that he had lodged a complaint with the umpires about these. He also went on to say, "I'm a little bit disappointed with some of the criticism, particularly from former Australia captains and Cricket Australia board members. There are positives in losing a series. Losing can make good cricketers with character better." When asked why they were still the worst-behaved team, Ponting lost his cool and accused the reporter of questioning his integrity.

Apart from the media, Ponting so far has managed to alienate other cricket playing nations, commentators, Australian cricketing icons, Australian board members, journalists, the ICC chief and people with the surname Ponting. It is unclear if and when he will stop.

Matthew Hayden alluded to Andrew Symond's off-field behaviour saying, "Often we find ourselves with cans on our lips waiting for someone to either beat up another team mate or someone in the group to pay - all the little frustrations that happen in First World countries." When asked how it mattered, he vehemently replied, "It frustrates me that certain sections of humanity want to take someone like myself down."

Brett 'Binga' Lee who looked off color throughout the series blamed domestic problems for his poor performance. When asked to elaborate, he clarified that cane toads were destroying crocodile populations in Australia and everytime he ran up to bowl, he could see those poor creatures.

Andrew Symonds, meanwhile, reacted strongly to a question from the press asking him about his fitness. He later stated that the reporter he had mauled has used the word 'fitness' which sounded like 'monkey'. He invited the reporter for a drink but was refused.

When asked about the upcoming Border-Gavaskar series, coach Adam Gilchrist vowed to target Indian spinner Harbhajan Singh by writing three scathing books on him.

Harbhajan in reply was quoted as saying, "Uski maa kii..."

2 comments:

  1. "Andrew Symonds, meanwhile, reacted strongly to a question from the press asking him about his fitness. He later stated that the reporter he had mauled has used the word 'fitness' which sounded like 'monkey'." - that was good!

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