Wednesday, September 10

The Bunty Gopal (entertainment consultant) chronicles

Day # 12053
Arrived at Bambo. Small town. I’m here to create entertainment. Of course, it wasn’t always like this. It all happened after the incident. Happy birthday it ain’t.

Day # 12091
No one goes out to watch movies anymore. The ethyl mercaptan that randomly emanates from the ground here must have something to with it. To put it plainly, stuff here stinks. Real bad. This was not always the case. Village used to make the town habitable. Village, the air purifier. His hobbies included smelling good and listening to grammatical sentences.

Day # 12126
I’ve realized that people here don't give a crap about stuff in general. The one thing that mattered to them before the incident was Village. But Lopya the snail put paid to that. Lopya is slow. But there was always serious doubt about his knowledge of the English language. Village was at risk.

Day # 12294 – The incident
Serious tense confusion caused serious chaos. This was the incident: Lopya told Village, "I am was small. And I'm sitting under the tree. When I am sit what happen?" Village collapsed at the sheer grammar of the sentence. It was a sentence that killed Village and changed a town.

Everywhere people chose to move to the city. Houses were deserted, yards were deserted, so were the toilets and the official hanging area of the town where the barbaric townspeople would have their weekly hanging. This town misses entertainment.

Day # 12370
Bouncy hangings have been scheduled once a week. My idea. The bouncing should enthuse the people. Here’s the plan: a male volunteer is forcibly selected. Then an angry mob which sometimes includes the family gathers around the gaily coloured platform and sings, "And as you do, so shall you reap, eeyah eeyah oh.". The noise of the trapdoor beneath the man's feet entails a roar of jubilation, all-round cheering and much bouncing. The townspeople loosen the noose and carry out the dead volunteer. I plan to name this sport after me.

Day # 12399
Despite my attempts at entertainment, Bambo is fast becoming a ghost town. Without any ghosts. Just the ghost of the air purifier. Lopya still stays on. Keeps asking me to get Town. Don’t know what he means.

Day # 12421
Enough is enough. But then, how can enough be anything other than enough? Anyway, brainwave. The weekly hangings will be more fun if people don’t die. But how?

Day # 12435
Got it. Put the noose around the ankles.

Day # 12436
After much convincing, Bambollians have decided to give my idea a shot. Tomorrow is the big test.

Day # 12457
It worked. Also, I installed Town, Village’s city cousin. The people are back, entertained and jumping. My work here is done. Time to move on.

Bunty Gopal (a.k.a Bun G.)

(Entered in the LiveJournal Caferati Flash Fiction Contest)


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