Friday, May 30

The state of the Indian western toilet

[Warning: Graphic imagery ahead]
No, I don't mean the Indian 'style' toilet. I mean the Indian western toilet.
Nowhere is the state of this more evident than in a train. Admittedly things are better than they were a decade ago. But better does not mean good.
Exhibit A: The western loo at the second AC coach aboard the Trivandrum express.
After generous helpings of medu vadas, train made chicken biryanis, home made chana with chapatis and numerous nesscoffees that were consumed throughout the day, your nose is bound to feel the effects of what these smell like out the other end once you enter the room of hideous deeds. A piece of advice here, they don't smell too exciting. Speaking of pieces, they're there too - way down the pipes. In their post processed state. But they can't hurt you, you surmise. A quick flush and you're underway.

It also helps if you're really desperate so that your brilliant mind can do its job of selective perception and filter things you would rather not see. You are quite happy also that La-loo has installed tissue paper dispensers which you generously arrange before you 'sit'. The seat is not what it is back home. There is definitely water on it. Of what kind you can never be sure. Yet again Mr Brain ignores minor details as he feels the pressure from Mr Anus. You begin your task.
At that very moment, it hits you. No not a falling part because of the wildly jerking train, but the realization that the chain tied to the mug hasn't been extended to use the western toilet. It doesn't reach.
After massive positional adjustments and passionate yanks, you get yourself cleaned up and get up when you see that Laloo's newly installed soap dispensers lack a small detail: soap.
Fortunately, you've been smart enough to get some of your own. So it doesn't matter to you. You smirk at your own intelligence and press the rather large flush button.

Your haughty feeling is washed away with a gush of water that starts tearing out of the pipes that were meant to direct water to the soiled area.

You beat a hasty retreat and on the way back realize why the seat was wet.
Enter Mr Brain and selective perception. You continue reading your copy of the newspaper. All's well that ends.

For all those who don't know to use a western lavatory, please watch the video below for some handy tips.


  1. Try a trip on a Bihar-belt train and you will know what all you have missed.

  2. Buddy, Long time, no posts..what happened?


  3. Buddy, Long time, no posts..what happened?