Tuesday, May 13

Excerpts from Vijay Mallya's diary

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(Somewhere in May 2008)
Another loss. Got piss drunk. Broke some bottles of competitors' booze and had a few swigs of RC. Blanked out. I hate cheap whiskey.

Awoke to Rahul's sms. Says he's not going to play the game anymore. What a relief. Finally, I can replace that white elephant. Need to make travel plans to Goa to poach some Rajasthan Royal team members for next season on their Goa vacation.
Note to self: Check cockpit glass in the flight. Never know what happens.

Worried about Gian. Says he's unhappy and not performing because he doesn't have NFL cheerleaders rooting for him. I told him I pay him a bomb, and he can go get whoever he wants to cheer. He said not a good idea. Look what happened to Cristiano, he says. Am pissed again, need to speak to some presswallahs.

Broke some more competitor bottles and spoke to the press and took a dig at Aguri. Always helps. Pretended like I know a lot about F1. Am so smart, drives me crazy sometimes. Feeling a little better.

Another day, another disaster. Heard SAB Miller's coming out with a brand to take KF head on. To think I named my team after one of their brands. Should have just called them Anitquity Blue Bangalore like I originally planned.

Was pissed again, so spoke to the press again. Feeling much better. Based on Rahul's sms that he's not going to play, said that Rahul and Charu didn't listen to me. Also said that I wanted Misbah and some 'others' in the team. Hope it makes me look good. Love it when I talk like I know stuff.
Note to self: Support ladies sports more. Working with so many men is definitely not my thing.

More bad news, I looked at Rahul's sms again. He said he's not going to play the blame game anymore. I hate cheap whiskey.
Inspired in part by Great Bong's hilarious post: http://greatbong.net/2008/05/09/bangalore-royally-challenged

21 comments:

  1. LOL. Brilliant!

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  2. Frankly, the comments on the F1 blog post were more interesting than the post itself. Mallya is right in what he says (I shudder to pretend I know everything about F1, but his cars are not 'assembled', just like Lenovo have proprietary branded products).

    The second point about IPL. God, I couldn't agree more with Mallya. Rahul Dravid has no business playing in this format. He has proved his inadequacy as a captain several times over (while leading the national team). Charu Sharma is a spineless git who just wishes to be better than Mandira Bedi. Mallya, having invested in the team has every right to blame the captain and manager for their despicable performance.

    Mallya is a drunkard and a showman? Maybe. Who cares?

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  3. Madman, madman, madman! Hope I didn't hurt your feelings! Just a little jest, didn't hurt you, did it?

    Well, who recruited Dravid in the first place? And if Mallya did have such a strong opinion on players, why didn't he exercise it?

    Anyway, glad to see we agree on Charu.

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  4. Naaaaaaaaw Rohan, didn't really 'hurt'. Personally, I just admire Mallya's style.

    Cheers

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  5. I hate cheap whiskey too ....

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  6. Hilarious. Nice one ..

    Madhu
    www.indimag.com

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  7. @ Indi: Thanks
    @ overrated: What is your poison, then?

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  8. rotflmao @ the blame game.

    cheers,
    asuph

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  9. Thanks not-so-talkative-man and asuph!

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  10. "More bad news, I looked at Rahul's sms again. He said he's not going to play the blame game anymore."
    This is too much! LOL!

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  11. Technically, United Spirits bought the rights to Royal Challenge when they bought Shaw Wallace, but since SWC already had a deal with SABMiller in place for licensing the beer brand, they signed over the rights to the beer brand in perpetuity. And the BRC are a subsidiary of United Spirits - poor shareholders!
    And this is a man who 'personally' selects each of his air-hostesses! Sigh!

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  12. Hey,Deccan(Air) is merged with kingfisher!
    Next IPL match can be watched with Kingfisher beer and Hyd Briyani.

    BTW, y dont we add Kabadi/hockey players for the next tournament?

    -Shankar
    shankar.manickam@gmail.com

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  13. haahaaha... hillarious :D
    cheap whiskey zindabad...!!!

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  14. It's all in the game..Vijay mallya should learn to accept both victories and defeats...the team and the captain are not to be blamed..

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  15. mind blowing sense of humor!!!

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  16. Thanks Indian, K, Tracer Bullet, Anonymous and Samridhi! :)

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  17. that was simply awesome!

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  18. Hey,Deccan(Air) is merged with kingfisher!
    Next IPL match can be watched with Kingfisher beer and Hyd Briyani.

    BTW, y dont we add Kabadi/hockey players for the next tournament?

    -Shankar
    shankar.manickam@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  19. rotflmao @ the blame game.

    cheers,
    asuph

    ReplyDelete