Saturday, January 5

The origin of bungee jumping

There once was a snail from a place called Bambo. Bambo was small. A small town. Very few people actually went out to see movies there. In fact, people didn't give a crap about other people. Or other trees for that matter. All that mattered to them was the coconut yard where the snail lived. The snail's name was Lopya.

Now Lopya, was a very innocent and sweet animal. Animal? Maybe not. But, for lack of vocabulary, we will call him animal. His English wasn't too good either. He used to talk in the present tense. When recounting his childhood days, he once told the village air purifier, "I am was small. And I'm sitting under the tree. When I am sit what happen?" The air purifier collapsed at the sheer grammar of the sentence, and after that Bambo was never the same again. The foul air of Nikhil permeated this place, once a heaven. Everywhere people chose to move to the city. Houses were deserted, yards were also deserted, so were the toilets and the official hanging area of the town where the barbaric townspeople would have their weekly hanging.

Hangings were scheduled once a week. A male volunteer would be selected out of sheer voluntary effort. Then people, especially those of his family, would gather around the gaily coloured platform built on a stack of heaps and sing, "And as you do, so shall you reap, Eeyah eeyah oh." And then all would hear the deafening noise. The noise that still sends shivers down Lopya's spine. the noise of the trapdoor beneath the man's feet. Which entailed a roar of tremendous jubilation and all-round cheering. The townspeople would untie the man's arms, and out he would come... a happy and beaming face... little did he know that this would one day be a big sport called bungee jumping. Maybe it was named after this very man, Mr. Bungee. But then again, it could be sheer coincidence. As I said, there weren't many movies.

Where was I? Yeah, desertion of Bambo. Bambo was fast becoming a ghost town. Without any ghosts. Just the ghost of the air purifier who couldn't bear to see the plight of Lopya. Lopya actually thought that he was making a quick getaway. But he just couldn't take anymore when he saw his third inch stone. There's only so much a snail can do. He actually accepted his destiny and shot himelf in the foot. It was only when he opened his eyes after a week, assuming he'd have been in heaven by now, did he realise that he was still in Hell - Bambo. What a dope! Snails don't have feet! Must have been an Aquarian.

Seeing all this, the air purifier's ghost decided to take action. He went to talk to what used to be his enemy... Mr. Stinky S. Hole whose real name was Nikhil. Upon reaching the place, the air purifier's ghost died again. "I'm stupid", was his last thought. A moment of silence please.

Finally, the village people decided that enough was enough. But then, isn't that what's always taught in school? I mean, how can enough be anything other than enough? Maybe Bambo would have been much more civilized had the people paid a bit more attention in class. Or if they would have had classes. Or better still, if their air was pure and edible. Which brings us to the point... they could have just hired an air purifier. And that is the story of how machines were invented. In the olden days.


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