Monday, January 21

Bharat Ratna nominee - My neighbour, Vijai Venkatraghavan

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Dear Sir,

I would like to nominate my friend Vijai Venkatraghavan for the Bharat Ratna for the year 2008. You would already have heard what I have to say, considering his achievements are common knowledge, but I re-state the obvious for those who don't.
Vijai works for an MNC technology company. He is also my neighbour. Based on these two factors alone, I'm sure that his case will be considered.

His achievements include the following:

Fight against global warming
Vijai has always been an environment friendly citizen. His stoical insistence on not having a social life has saved so much in emissions, that at least one generation more will have fresh air to breathe. In fact, in the dark days just prior to my marriage, when he held the coveted "roommate" status, I have seen organisms of various species walking out from under the door of his room in very straight and orderly files. They then proceeded to crawl under his bathroom door and enter the bathroom which I have still not opened after his departure. The ecological balance that was destroyed when civilisation engulfed Chennai was restored by this sterling gentleman in one small room.

Contribution to Forex inflows

This wonderful genius of an employee, nay associate, has contributed numerous dollars to his organisation in terms of high billing rates without any obvious effort. He has added revenue to this organisation, thus increasing the number of indirect support industries and generating employment for India.

Conservation of natural resources
The other day, when we went to the gym, and I realised that I had forgotten my socks, Vijai gave me this environment-friendly piece of advice, "Why do you take your socks out of your shoes?" I knew then that the fight against water shortage in this country had a deserving spearhead in Vijai: a clear respect for the water shortage in the city, and a responsibility to humanity at large.

If all the citizens of the country were like Vijai, or at least of his height, we would have saved billions of dollars in lower ceilings and fewer stairs / lifts. His vertical advantages must be considered when cloning future citizens to save maximum cost for a developing country like ours. Without responsible citizens like Vijai, the country would be much worse, Sir, and hence I am confident that this gem of a person will definitely be awarded with the Bharat Ratna this year.


Regards,
Rohan

3 comments:

  1. :-)))))

    Lovely post..written in a very convincing manner. Even I feel Vijai deserves a Bharat Retna. Can I sign an online petition somewhere?

    -PJ

    ReplyDelete
  2. No problem, you can sign right here - on Daily Humor. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. :-)))))

    Lovely post..written in a very convincing manner. Even I feel Vijai deserves a Bharat Retna. Can I sign an online petition somewhere?

    -PJ

    ReplyDelete