Chronicles of the sideburns-ically challenged

I admit it. I do not have the thick hair growth that most males of my species seem to exhibit. As a result, I have a chronic problem, known in some circles as chronic sideburnslessness (SBL). Some laugh at the sparseness of your cheek hair, while others are kind enough to ignore it completely. And in the occasional event of you going out and actually cultivating the fiber, all you end up doing is being the object of laughter of every reasonably gifted male around you. SBL is much deeper than dead cells and skin. It is a matter of extreme sadness for those of us who aspire to be vain, yet due to Nature's cruel joke are wont to present ourselves as not-so-superficial people. We are living proof that lack of stylishness is not always a state-of-mind.

Of course, it's somewhat better than some of those who are follically challenged in a different way. They, of the gleaming pate, cannot really get their locks back, except by some fairly radical (and maybe now commonplace) therapies. An even sadder subset of the bald is those who are bald, yet hairy everywhere else. That is the worst of both worlds. These are the kinds who wish that one day upon awakening, some hair roots would have migrated from unwanted areas to the barren lands above. Even the equivalent of one finger's roots. But that's not to be. However, on the positive side, these dudes still have sideburns.To boot, the rest is shaveable. And I haven't heard of sideburn implants.

The story is rock-paper-scissors. What can you do?

What's with the daily?

It's a valid argument. A very good friend who knows many of my many personalities remarked recently, "Cheeku, why is your blog called daily humor?" And she's got a point. Despite the obvious hilarity of my writing style, there's nothing about it to qualify it as a "daily" blog.

But I'm not as shallow as I seem. No sir. Sometimes people fail to understand the depth of my words. They just treat my literary fare as something inanely funny and nothing more. One of the very deep things (and there are so many really) about this blog is that, it's daily on the demand side, not on the supply side. For the Economics-ally challenged that means, you read it daily, even though there may be no daily updates. It's like one of those forms of music that grows on you. Like Michael Manring, for instance. Or some of that progressive rock, or maybe even that Risky album by the band that was once thrash metal.

Anyway, the next time you ask yourself a question about why an adjective doesn't make sense, think about the author. Once you're convinced that the source of your material is funny, it automatically applies to the content. Take one of those all time hit TV shows, 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' for example. A sample half page of script would read:

Monica: Oh my GOD!
laugh track
Chandler: Oh MY God!
laugh track
Rachel: What?
fake audience in splits
Ross: Ung.
Actors take 5 min break for fake audience to stop laughing

To use "ung" as a punch line, one has to be riding quite high on a wave of credibility. As an aside, notice how I didn't include Joey and Phoebe in there. That's because I think they're quite funny. Despite the public nature of my hypocrisy, it's reasonable to think that if you saw the above four lines enacted, without the actors who get paid a million bucks (that's American dollars) an episode or the laugh track, it's unlikely that you would have put on hold either calling your girlfriend or taking that not-so-urgent crap burst just to see what's coming. You would have probably resumed your daily ear aching rituals or gone about your business (that's the politically correct term, isn't it?) in a more timely manner.

So the next time you question my titles, remember I have two blog entries for each of the two words and I have justified everything including the spellings and the grammatical significance across cultures. That's the kind of depth we're talking about here. I'm also contemplating about writing about the hyphen, but there has been no significant feedback about that. And I play to my audience.

So welcome to daily humor. Enjoy it - DAILY. :)