The travails of an MBA graduate in IT

I'll quote wikipedia.com, so that you can't point a finger at me.

A project is a temporary endeavor undertaken to create a unique product or service.

I'm in the IT industry. Part of the Indian brain labour force that's stealing jobs away from unsuspecting, uneducated Americans. Sure, we make a little money, but doesn't everyone these days? IT's got its own pitfalls though, be very sure. For one, we lead very unstable lives. My seventh roommate in six months is moving out. And I'm having such a hard time convincing my landlord that my "family" will be joining me soon. That's the only condition under which he'd give the house, you see.

To digress slightly, every ad you see for a house for rent in this place ends with the phrase, "Bachelors excuse". At first, I thought that it was a reflection of the quality of houses, or a civil way to end the ad. But misapprehensions were quelled when someone told me the same thing in a heavy-laden kind of tone. The voice might have said, "Bachelors excuse", but the message was, "Fuck you, please". Very, very courteous.

So anyway, there are enough things to take care of when enroll ourselves in this industry, Unlike the poor, MBA banking folk, at least I get my weekends off, but that's not all it's cracked up to be. When we go "onsite", we are to have a '95% utilisation rate'. No time to breathe, in short. 5% includes, your daily routine, including bowel movements. So till we're onsite, we sit here, do some make believe work and read some make believe training material to convince ourselves that we're really not worthless and keep our self esteem levels above suicidal. When I say 'we', of course, I mean MBAs who get recruited from 'premiere' b-schools into the hallowed IT companies. The average engineer is your veritable workhorse churning out code or test cases or what-have-you with great aplomb. The objective, in our case, is much slimier. They age us by a year and then stamp our souls with a visa, and send us "onsite". Of course, the seductive charm of a foreign land and a foreign currency are enough motivation to hang on. Come to think of it, sounds too easy to be true. I wonder if it's all a big scam...

Humor vs humour

My blog title uses an American spelling. Not grammatical, where I come from. But sadly significant. I didn’t really have an option, though. Without this, the retards wouldn’t have got what I was saying. And they’re my target audience. They’d be so confused with the “u” in the word and lose complete focus of my message. Which is nada. I wouldn’t want them to be so befuddled. That’s why this blog is called daily humor and not daily humour. A word to the purists. Don’t argue, that’s the reason you’re still a purist, and pretty much a loser. You have to do what the market demands.

The fact that this argument is based on a premise that all those who read blogs are essentially American is a tribute to the all-pervasive Americanisation of the world, which will soon see its fruition. You can’t stop it. And I have twisted logic to support my statement. The Yanks, they own culture. They have a culture everyone is aware of and tries hard to copy. No jokes. A 10-year-old kid materialised the other day, his pants starting from his knees. My deductive powers told me that the underwear started from where it should have ended. The vital concealment was executed by the t-shirt, which was long enough to clothe generations of people, back in the olden days when fig leaves were the hottest new elements in man’s unending obsession with personal privacy. When you see generations of the future so hypnotized by a culture that they would displace their attire vertically with such disastrous results, you know I’ve got a strong point.

Pretty soon, world leaders are going to throw in the towel, and call Earth America. It’s got to happen. Asia will be called Chinese-America, (since the stereotype for an Asian, is an oriental anyway; it doesn’t matter that we Indians take up 1/6^th of the world or write all your damn software, we are never “Asian”), Africa will be Toxic-Dump land-America and Europe will be Eww-America, that ol’ landmass with its ageing bums, eventually be cleansed of the French. The writing’s on the wall.

So the smart thing to do is embrace it. Open your minds to America. As history is my witness, either you see eye-to-eye with the stars-and-stripes or you see stars. And I’ve made my choice.