Wednesday, December 6


Today's the day I write about the funniest of all topics - marriage. One of those damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't quandaries. And, of course, the most religiously approved way of having all that sex. Or, as one of my very odd friends calls it - a sex ceremony. The scary thing is that you have to have all that sex with only one person. And since sex is so symbolic of life, you end up giving your life to this one person. I mean, sure it's romantic and all that, but isn't romance just a vivid conjuring of an alcohol deprived person?

Even funnier subsets of the marriage issue are what we call in India as "love marriage" and "arranged marriage". I'm sure variants of this exist in all parts of the world. Love marriage is when you choose your own spouse-to-be without any parental interference / assistance. Arranged marriage is when you are just the approving authority and nothing else. The research and background check is done by the parents / family / whoever else's house you stay in. Which leads me to an interesting conclusion, all homosexuals have love marriages. Which is kinda sad because they would want the Supreme Being to kinda be ok with their union. But, I guess you just have to fit things in forcibly sometimes.

Marriage is also falsely associated with the circle of life. I strongly disagree. Sex is the true seed of the circle of life, marriage is a facilitator to subsequent happenings only. You can't grow it if you can't sow it - it's a law of nature.

I'm sure marriage is the result of man's obsession with taking long breaks from work and spending loads of money on inanely pointless things, and of course, masochism. Where else can you find such a mellifluous confluence of the three, without actually having to negotiate with your boss and telling the world that you spent all your life's savings on a single day? Even getting drunk and ending up in China on the back of a cart carrying unpacked electrically charged pins would be cheaper - on any mode of transport.

Marriage encompasses the opportunity to truly be one's animal self, and to all those who are taking the plunge this year - many congratulations. To all those, who're doing it next year - we're in this together, let's not flinch.


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